The one thing that I dont get is how your rejecting your dads work.

It's partly about rejecting it, because religious work is about a lot more than doing good works (and sometimes distinctly different from what a secular person might see that way), but a lot of what I'm talking about would probably be better described of "fear of my parents feeling that they failed" -- that they'd failed to raise me as a good Christian -- the one point that is arguably most important to them, at least theoretically.