You have a lot of great things to say here.

I agree that mono/poly is a spectrum and is indeed an orientation.

I am not extremely at the poly end, but if it were a 10 point scale with 10 being the most poly one could be, I'd probably be a 6-ish. I had multiple partners in high school and spent a good chunk of my adult life in poly relationships (nine years). I am currently in a technically monogamous relationship due to a number of factors. One, we have a baby and it is hard enough to find time for each other let alone other partners. Two, while trying to conceive and during pregnancy we were not comfortable with any disease risk. Three, ptor (my husband) did not do poly well at all and he does much better in firmly closed arrangements. This is the second iteration of our relationship and we are being very careful with each other; however, we revisit the subject periodically and we know we may decide to someday open the relationship up again. One reason the compromise works for me is that I have been able to maintain my strong emotional bond to catzen--he and I broke up about a year after ptor and I got together again (break up not related to ptor, and while we are not romantically linked anymore we remain very close. In fact, catzen and ptor are very close now as well. It works for us.

Right now I cannot imagine trying to fit another relationship into my life--my child takes up almost all my emotional and physical energy. I do miss having more people around and sometimes that is hard. But I am happier with ptor than I've ever been with anyone or ever hoped to be with anyone and we have a beautiful relationship. However, just because I am in a romantic relationship with only one person doesn't make me any less poly any more than the fact that said person is male makes be any less bisexual.