moominmuppet ([personal profile] moominmuppet) wrote2015-05-19 07:36 am

One last thought when goddamn I oughta be sleeping.

Certain things make me twitchy. One of the fastest ways to get my hackles up (although I try to be polite about it) is when someone goes white knighting on me. White knighting is one of those bad old internalized misogyny tendencies of mine, one I do my damndest to control. Part of why I get twitchy is the reminder of that, but the other part is that I rather instinctively take it as a power challenge. My automatic internal reaction is basically "Back the fuck off. Don't you know _I_ do the rescuing around here?!" It forces me into the role in that dynamic with which I emphatically do not identify (Which is also how I really learned just what an ass I was being when I did it to others).

(Honestly not related to any recent interactions, fyi)

(catching up on cross-posting from FL; there will be a spate here for a bit)