moominmuppet (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
moominmuppet) wrote2006-03-13 01:07 pm
moominmuppet) wrote2006-03-13 01:07 pm
Entry tags:
Question 1
what is the order of importance of those things and why?
Hmmm... trickier than it seems.
1. Friends -- that's right; first priority. That's also the only reason LJ should be on the list at all (in terms of "important things", which I assume is the interpretation). It's a central modality for communicating with friends, but a replaceable one. It's rightly in position #6.
I assume by "Love" there's a connotation of romantic love specifically. That's all a weird categorization for me, and the overlaps between friends/love/sex, in particular, are pretty convoluted. Assuming that whoever wrote the meme originally is talking about primary partnership romantic love -- its importance varies a lot in my life. If I were attached to someone that way right now it would be a very high priority, but since I'm not, it isn't, and "tracking it down" isn't.
The last three are largely experiential. I'd be loathe to lose any of them, but I think the order here is actually correct already. I'd lose "drugs" before "music" because there are ways of creating altered states of consciousness that aren't dependent on externally accessed chemicals (whereas as loss of all music would mean no earworms or humming to yourself, as well as not listening to external music), but I would probably put "altered states of consciousness" before both sex and music, if it came down to that, since part of what I value about all three is their ability to alter the state of my consciousness.
Sex
Music
Drugs
Hmmm... trickier than it seems.
1. Friends -- that's right; first priority. That's also the only reason LJ should be on the list at all (in terms of "important things", which I assume is the interpretation). It's a central modality for communicating with friends, but a replaceable one. It's rightly in position #6.
I assume by "Love" there's a connotation of romantic love specifically. That's all a weird categorization for me, and the overlaps between friends/love/sex, in particular, are pretty convoluted. Assuming that whoever wrote the meme originally is talking about primary partnership romantic love -- its importance varies a lot in my life. If I were attached to someone that way right now it would be a very high priority, but since I'm not, it isn't, and "tracking it down" isn't.
The last three are largely experiential. I'd be loathe to lose any of them, but I think the order here is actually correct already. I'd lose "drugs" before "music" because there are ways of creating altered states of consciousness that aren't dependent on externally accessed chemicals (whereas as loss of all music would mean no earworms or humming to yourself, as well as not listening to external music), but I would probably put "altered states of consciousness" before both sex and music, if it came down to that, since part of what I value about all three is their ability to alter the state of my consciousness.
Sex
Music
Drugs
no subject
gotta say, i miss you and your thoughts a lot.
what to do when friends you love a lot tell you your love for a man isn't a good idea??? arg.
no subject
what to do when friends you love a lot tell you your love for a man isn't a good idea??? arg.
Arg, indeed. I've had mixed experiences with that. Sometimes it's turned out they've been quite right, and it wasn't something I was ready or willing to see at that point. Other times they've been weighing the relative merits and drawbacks differently than I do -- they've often been right about the drawbacks, but assuming that their views on the relative weights of those matched mine, when they didn't.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2006-03-20 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
Your friends know you, and they're not blinded by the emotional miasma you're going through. Generally speaking, their advice is a good thing.
Does this mean you should DTMFA? I doubt it. Without actually experiencing the downsides -- what your friends see -- you'll resent your friends for the decision you make at their behest. All the same, it most likely will come eventually, you'll break up for the reasons they saw coming, and they'll have to bite their tongues to hold back the "I told you so."
The other problem is, of course, that the more your friends espouse their unfavorable opinion of the person with whom you're in love, the less time you want to spend with them, and consequently, the less likely they'll be willing to be there for you when that break up does happen.
What I'd do in that situation would be to say to your friends, "listen, I understand your concern, and I'll be careful about it, but I'm in love, and I'm happy. Let me make my own mistakes, be happy for me when I'm happy, and comfort me when I'm not. I'll do the same for you."
Then do that. Beyond that make sure you allot time for your friends. If you don't, you'll lose them.
no subject