*grin* There's a reason my profile includes an interest listing for "sapiosexuality"
Platonic primary is especially meaningful to me because of how my life has always worked, in terms of creating small family groups. Most folks eventually leave those to form more traditional "parents and children" families, but some of us want to continue living like this; groupings of friends with a commitment to each other. It shows in how I handle housemates, and finances, and everything else. Some housemates are more interwoven in the permanent family dynamic than others, but in general, it's not the typical "you owe X, and if you can't contribute it, you may not have a place to live". I wouldn't kick out a housemate for being broke any more than I'd kick out a spouse. As long as everyone's living in the spirit of the household, and making what contributions they can, in whatever ways work, we figure out how to handle it as a team.
And one of the things I've learned about myself, in regards to finding primary partners (of the more traditional romantic sort) is that we really have to be on the same page about that kind of stuff. Fundamentally, I'm a deeply communal socialist in my personal life. It's a bad idea, and creates many tensions, for me to interweave my life with someone who's coming from a very different underlying viewpoint. I discovered this when I seriously dated a guy I'd describe as a very generous capitalist. Our behaviors looked similar on the surface, but the way we framed them in our own heads was totally different, and that eventually lead to problems. Fundamentally, I don't run an internal balance sheet, and it leads to very different conclusions about things.
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Date: 2009-07-09 02:39 pm (UTC)Platonic primary is especially meaningful to me because of how my life has always worked, in terms of creating small family groups. Most folks eventually leave those to form more traditional "parents and children" families, but some of us want to continue living like this; groupings of friends with a commitment to each other. It shows in how I handle housemates, and finances, and everything else. Some housemates are more interwoven in the permanent family dynamic than others, but in general, it's not the typical "you owe X, and if you can't contribute it, you may not have a place to live". I wouldn't kick out a housemate for being broke any more than I'd kick out a spouse. As long as everyone's living in the spirit of the household, and making what contributions they can, in whatever ways work, we figure out how to handle it as a team.
And one of the things I've learned about myself, in regards to finding primary partners (of the more traditional romantic sort) is that we really have to be on the same page about that kind of stuff. Fundamentally, I'm a deeply communal socialist in my personal life. It's a bad idea, and creates many tensions, for me to interweave my life with someone who's coming from a very different underlying viewpoint. I discovered this when I seriously dated a guy I'd describe as a very generous capitalist. Our behaviors looked similar on the surface, but the way we framed them in our own heads was totally different, and that eventually lead to problems. Fundamentally, I don't run an internal balance sheet, and it leads to very different conclusions about things.