Thoughts and plans.

Well, I've had a bit more time to adjust to the news about Harry. In some ways, parts of how this sorted out are a bit of a relief -- because the news is pretty unequivocal (that I need to be prepared for the strong likelihood that I'll lose Harry soon, and that medical intervention is unlikely to substantially improve those odds) -- I'm spared from the really heart-rending decisions about interventions beyond those we've done so far. Taking out a tumor that's causing pain and mobility problems isn't a very hard decision. Putting a pet through chemo or removing a leg require a lot more struggling with quality of life, odds of success, affordability, etc. I've got some things to think about, particularly regarding how losing Harry may affect Leroy, and how I want to handle that, but nothing immediate except for finishing up recovery from the surgery.

I generally do ok with death itself; it's emotionally painful and it sucks, but knowing that it's likely coming soon is easier on my nerves than the waiting and wondering part of things. I tend to do a major chunk of my grieving and acceptance in advance; I've always been that way, I think. And in my experience there's something rather sacred about the intentionality and intimacy that predicted impending death can create. Part of that is the sad fact the predicted death is usually linked to illness or decline in some way, and the increase in attention and care associated with that is itself a source of a certain type of increased connection and intimacy (although caring for someone or something ill or injured has that effect regardless of whether the problem is terminal, I think). And part of it is the intentionality that often comes with a reminder of scarcity. One of the things that's easier than with humans, though, is that Harry doesn't comprehend, anticipate, or fear death, so enjoying the time with him isn't laced with worries about his mental state and fears.

I did end up cancelling my plans to work at CLAW this weekend, though. Between this, and the practical possibilities of Housemate maybe finally moving in this weekend, I'm just not in the headspace to deal with being out of the house most of the weekend; I really want nothing more than to be home with the critters, and to catch back up on the household stuff that's gone to pot in the past two weeks of vet issues, so the Housemate isn't moving into a total mess.

I finished up Sleeping With Extra-Terrestrials: The Rise of Irrationalism and Perils of Piety last week sometime, and forgot to comment about it. Given that she was pretty much preaching to the choir with me as a reader, it was a moderately entertaining read, and she made some excellent points about the connections between a number of phenomena in our society, and gave me some additional ideas to chew on. I'm not overly enamored of her writing style, though, and the book didn't really wow me; it was a bit too general and non-specific (I've noticed I tend to enjoy my non-fiction more when it's detailed, and full of copious footnotes, references, and appendices). Moderately recommended for folks who'd like a brief overview of the subject.

Since that, I've been working my way through Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon. I'm liking it for many of the same reasons I really enjoyed The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution a few weeks ago -- it's a bit dry and dense, but it's fascinating stuff, approached with an open but critical and analytical mind. My only complaint isn't really a critique of the book, just a mismatch on intended audience. He does spend a good chunk of the first section just explaining why theists shouldn't just close the book and walk away, and I'm just not his target in that section, so it got a bit boring. It's definitely picking up since, though. Good thought-fodder; he's making the case for scientific study of the presence of religion in human societies, and he's good at clarifying competing theories, and examining what types of further research might help tell us the most. And he's all about citing his sources, and expansive endnotes and appendices, so major bonus points there.

And in-between those, I've been rereading the Lewis Barnavelt stories by Bellairs and Strickland as my escapism, and watching enough Addams Family reruns that the theme song is an almost perpetual earworm.

More about Rove and the '04 Ohio Election Results

I don't think it's either just or safe to forget about the (well, I was about to say innumerable, but they've been pretty strikingly ennumerated) issues with the '04 election in Ohio (and elsewhere, but I'm most aware of what's been happening here). I volunteered with Election Protection in '04 and '06, and intend to keep doing so, because I find what's happening in our voting system to be well beyond suspect.

To that end, another article about possible links between Rove and the issues here in '04:

Are Rove's Missing Emails the Smoking Guns of the Stolen 2004 Election?
By Bob Fitrakis and Harvey Wasserman
The Free Press

Wednesday 25 April 2007

E-mails being sought from Karl Rove's computers, and recent revelations about critical electronic conflicts of interest, may be the smoking guns of Ohio's stolen 2004 election. A thorough recount of ballots and electronic files, preserved by a federal lawsuit, could tell the tale.

The major media has come to focus on a large batch of electronic communications which have disappeared from the server of the Republican National Committee, and from White House advisor Rove's computers. The attention stems from the controversial firing of eight federal prosecutors by Attorney-General Alberto Gonzales.

But the time frame from which these e-mails are missing also includes a critical late night period after the presidential election of 2004. In these crucial hours, computerized vote tallies may have been shifted to move the Ohio vote count from John Kerry to George W. Bush, giving Bush the presidency.
( Read more... )

Someday I should make a recording...

Apropos of nothing, except a random reminder that I'd meant to post about this:

We get a lot of bizarre chants and insults from the protestors outside the clinics. I mentioned recently that I was amused by "Wicked Witch" -- we also get "Deathscorts", "Evil Vultures", "Mother-of-Death"/"Daughter-of-Death", and "Young Lady" (which I despise more than any other, although they often attempt to use it ingratiatingly). Additionally, they spend an awful lot of time talking about how we could possibly take this "blood money", and suggesting other ways we could earn our income. One once offered to pay me double what I was making to come join them on the other side (yes, the amusement value of all this is that we're volunteers, as you'd think they'd bloody well know by now).

The woman who tries to stealth bless us with holy water over the fence amuses me no end -- she's constantly chasing cars with her little plastic water shaker, dousing whatever she can, and sending little squirts over toward us. I wonder what she thinks will happen if she hits us?

Many of our regulars have their own bizarre little chants: "They want to kill your baby, and they want to kill YOUUUUUUUUUU" is a favorite, for example. Various factual bullshit is common too: "Abortion causes cancer" is a perennial favorite, but sometimes they go the "post-abortion syndrome" route, and sometimes they go the "colostomy bag" route. Some of the least appealing and creepiest descriptions of sex I've ever heard are common too: "When your father went inside your mother..." Insults toward the men accompanying the patients are a common topic, usually starting with "A Real Man Wouldn't...." And, of course, there's the expected "Mommy, Mommy!" "Daddy, Daddy, save me!" "Grandma, Grandma, don't let them do this to me" "I speak for your baby" crap that sounds insanely creepy coming from a chorus of adult male strangers.

Weekend before last, though, one of our extra-crazies spent most of the day screaming the following:

"A Real Man wouldn't let another man anywhere near his woman's privates!"

Even aside the myriad other things wrong with that statement, it's so good to know that our health is of such great concern to this psycho that all of modern gynecology should go out the window, and we should return to describing our ailments from behind screens. *headdesk*

And they wonder why we don't take them seriously.

I wish I could remember the wording on more of the extra-crazy ones, but I think at some point I should just make a phone post to LJ when I'm out there so people can hear for themselves.


And yes, laughing at the protestors is at least in part a way of coping with how incredibly angry they make me when I'm walking intimidated and crying patients past their onslaught of cruelty and bullshit.

Most telling (lack of) reaction? That a patient can turn to them, in tears, and yell to them that she has cancer, and has to have this abortion, and the yelling doesn't even abate.

Best patient reaction I've seen in ages? A woman turned, looked at one of them, and yelled back "Ooh, baby, you're makin' me hot *smoochie noises*" That baffled and befuddled them for a good few minutes.