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I want to be that bear right now.
Jun. 9th, 2008 06:04 pm*grumpetygrumpgrump*
131 calls at work today, on four hours of sleep. Given my practically narcoleptic abilities to fall asleep while working anyway (actually, they did diagnose me with narcolepsy at one point, after my sleep study, although I doubt the accuracy of that diagnosis, given what else was going on with the fibro and a multitude of med side effects at the time), it was a stressful day. It's especially odd to have textual evidence of how much my brain slides into sleep while I'm still actively doing things. I looked up at an email I was writing today to a user, and found it perfectly sensible until the last sentence, which was a conversational line out of the dream I'd fallen into, and totally unrelated to the rest of the email.
But I got through it without any drastically noticeable issues. I can't wait for tomorrow -- they say a high of only somewhere in the 80s! Thunderstorms and 71 tonight! Today was almost 100 downtown. The living room isn't too bad, thanks to all the fans, but it's the only place in the house I can stand to be for more than a few minutes, and it's not really "comfortable" at the moment. I need sleep desperately, but I'm not sure how well I'll manage in the heat right now (well, I suspect I could fall asleep just fine, but not stay asleep or get refreshing sleep).
Nonetheless, I'm not actually in a bad mood, per se. Just physically discontent, especially adding in the sunburn that makes raising my arms painful, the dozen or so mosquito bites on my arms, and the weirdness where I apparently screwed up my right arm somehow, and keep getting shooting pains through my shoulder randomly (an improvement over the shoulder, elbow and wrist pain from two nights ago, though!), but not pissy. Life is good, and this too shall pass. And I was just talking to a friend about it being nice to be mostly down from this recent mania:
Well, they did a sleep study on me. But it was while I was on so many meds for the fibro that were having so many side effects, and fibro is highly correlated to sleep disorders anyway, that I'm really not sure that narcolepsy was actually an accurate diagnosis.
However, the Provigil sure rocked.
Fuckin' speedy Sarah.
amusing to those around me, at least. And very awake.
semi-controlled, though, so required a direct scrip every month, which was more hassle than I really wanted to deal with. Especially given that I couldn't slow down to socially appropriate speeds on it, and that was awkward at times.
An awful lot like a chemically induced mania, actually. And while being manic has its fun sides, it's not how I'd choose to be all the time, and it has its definitely downsides.
And I get enough of that with the bipolar anyway. It's nice to finally be mostly down from this most recent one.
My sex drive is back down to human-Sarah level, not an obtrusive distraction to everything else in life. And my impulse control is back up to normal-Sarah levels (not that that's saying so very much).
131 calls at work today, on four hours of sleep. Given my practically narcoleptic abilities to fall asleep while working anyway (actually, they did diagnose me with narcolepsy at one point, after my sleep study, although I doubt the accuracy of that diagnosis, given what else was going on with the fibro and a multitude of med side effects at the time), it was a stressful day. It's especially odd to have textual evidence of how much my brain slides into sleep while I'm still actively doing things. I looked up at an email I was writing today to a user, and found it perfectly sensible until the last sentence, which was a conversational line out of the dream I'd fallen into, and totally unrelated to the rest of the email.
But I got through it without any drastically noticeable issues. I can't wait for tomorrow -- they say a high of only somewhere in the 80s! Thunderstorms and 71 tonight! Today was almost 100 downtown. The living room isn't too bad, thanks to all the fans, but it's the only place in the house I can stand to be for more than a few minutes, and it's not really "comfortable" at the moment. I need sleep desperately, but I'm not sure how well I'll manage in the heat right now (well, I suspect I could fall asleep just fine, but not stay asleep or get refreshing sleep).
Nonetheless, I'm not actually in a bad mood, per se. Just physically discontent, especially adding in the sunburn that makes raising my arms painful, the dozen or so mosquito bites on my arms, and the weirdness where I apparently screwed up my right arm somehow, and keep getting shooting pains through my shoulder randomly (an improvement over the shoulder, elbow and wrist pain from two nights ago, though!), but not pissy. Life is good, and this too shall pass. And I was just talking to a friend about it being nice to be mostly down from this recent mania:
Well, they did a sleep study on me. But it was while I was on so many meds for the fibro that were having so many side effects, and fibro is highly correlated to sleep disorders anyway, that I'm really not sure that narcolepsy was actually an accurate diagnosis.
However, the Provigil sure rocked.
Fuckin' speedy Sarah.
amusing to those around me, at least. And very awake.
semi-controlled, though, so required a direct scrip every month, which was more hassle than I really wanted to deal with. Especially given that I couldn't slow down to socially appropriate speeds on it, and that was awkward at times.
An awful lot like a chemically induced mania, actually. And while being manic has its fun sides, it's not how I'd choose to be all the time, and it has its definitely downsides.
And I get enough of that with the bipolar anyway. It's nice to finally be mostly down from this most recent one.
My sex drive is back down to human-Sarah level, not an obtrusive distraction to everything else in life. And my impulse control is back up to normal-Sarah levels (not that that's saying so very much).
