*chuckle* Yesterday was an excellent day, but my body thinks I'm a very silly girl. Achy and tired, tired, tired today.

For various reasons, each of us having to cancel sessions at some point or another, I haven't seen my counselor since sometime in mid-April. Boy, howdy, there's going to be a lot to catch her up on. Looking forward to seeing her (my counselor rocks immensely), but it's going to be an amusing session. Then I'm seeing [livejournal.com profile] serpentseye. I'm thinking our plans should start with high-octane coffee. *nodnod*

And goodbye, George... we're going to miss you.
Goodbye, Robert Asprin

Your humor entertained me through my teens, and still nurses me through a depression here and there. And you provided the name for my snake, Pookie, too.
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Old Boss, also known as Good Boss, took a very sudden medical leave due to a cancer diagnosis. I got a call yesterday afternoon that he had an unexpected bad reaction to his chemo, and died this past Friday. I'm still feeling pretty shellshocked, and the office is having a hard time of it as a group. Aside from his personal popularity, this is the third death in this office in the past three years (the last was only 10 months ago).

Some relationships are very clearly bounded by their context, but no less important for that. Jim was a very quiet, private guy, and we only spent time together at the office, never 'socially' outside work. However, I worked closely with him for the past five years, and had a solid, trusting, honest, comfortable and deeply fond relationship with him within our shared environment. He dealt with all my quirks with remarkably aplomb (I'm not the world's easiest person to have as an employee, to say the least), and I bent over backward on this job out of loyalty to him. He was a good man, and an important part of my life, and I'm going to miss him immensely.

He leaves behind a large family. Please keep them in your thoughts if you're so inclined.
Funeral questions are coming up a lot this week, because of my Cousin Jim, and also my Favorite Coworker's mother-in-law.

Honestly, I don't get much out of most funerals, and I very rarely attend them anymore (I've been to way more than my fair share over the years -- perils of being a priest's kid). When I'm grieving someone I'm close to, I tend to prefer it to be small and simple. My grandmother's ash-scattering was a perfect example. A couple of us on a boat, a short prayer, and that's all. Although verbal expressions of caring from my friends and loved ones are good, I'm not even sure what on earth I'd do with piles of flowers and cards and such. I don't like grieving in front of people I'm not close to, and I don't want to deal with a huge gathering. It all sounds perfectly awful. I've been to a few funerals that really impressed me (Bishop Mayson's was all about just what an incredible effect he'd had on the world), but I was there as an anonymous member of the crowd, really, and I felt bad for his family having to try to hold it together through this giant event. I wish we did more of our memorials a bit further down the timeline, when the raw grief weren't so fresh, and a celebration of the life seems more possible.

So, obviously, I don't grok much about what's going to make a difference to people who process differently than I do, so I often find myself flailing for what to do that will make a positive difference to the people who are being most deeply affected -- whether that's giving them space, giving them company, sending flowers, cards, what-have-you.

Those of you who've lost people close to you (especially parents) -- what made a difference to you? Did seeing more people there help reassure you they were remembered? Was it just more strange faces to deal with? From a relative stranger, would you prefer attendance or a card?

I'm not certain how much any of this discussion is likely to affect my decisions for this weekend (that I'm planning on stopping into Favorite Coworker's mother-in-law's viewing very briefly, and that I'm not planning on going to the family internment in Michigan on Monday for Cousin Jim), but this issue comes up not infrequently in life, and I'd be interested in more perspective.

Shock

Dec. 19th, 2006 09:25 pm
Whoa. Just found out that the Very Sick Coworker I'd mentioned died yesterday ([livejournal.com profile] calebbullen just posted about it, and I checked my office email and had notices about it). Still processing that. I wasn't close to him personally, but we've all been very worried about him recently (in fact, the bulk of our office met with Boss on Thursday to talk to him about our concerns that he wasn't getting medical care he obviously needed -- apparently too late to make a difference). I feel really bad for his kids and family -- he wasn't all that old, and his kids are still pretty young, I believe. This is the second coworker I didn't know very well to die in the past couple of years; there's something particularly surreal and awkward about it.

Good thoughts for the people who are grieving tonight wouldn't go amiss.

Additionally, any locals who may be able to take additional cats, he has four that one of my coworkers who was friends with him is trying to place. Comment for info.
Susie Bright's post about Tee -- probably not worksafe

Unfortunately, I'm at work, so I can't even see most of what I'd want to link to in regards to Tee's work over the years. I had to have Fin copy and paste Susie's actual post for me, because I can't even reach Susie's blog from here.
In other news, I'm exhausted and cranky. However, Casey's having a party tonight, and I'm finally in town (we've had bad timing -- I think I've had conflicts for the past three she's thrown). I'm going to try to make it to that, although I can't stay too late; I'm escorting in the morning, and [livejournal.com profile] chameleonpixie and [livejournal.com profile] dhimahi and I have plans for Saturday afternoon.

And in "Shitty news of the day", Ohio ties South Dakota for worst state in the union on reproductive and sexual freedom issues

Also, I keep meaning to make mention of Fritz Klein's death, although I'm sure most of you in the bi community have already heard through other sources. Still, he was deeply important to the development of bi community and research regarding bisexuality, so here's one more mention. The Blade's obituary for Fritz Klein.
I checked in his cage, and he was gone, apparently in his sleep. We knew it was coming; he was old, and it was showing.

I do ok about rat deaths, for the most part, because I'm always aware of what short-lived creatures they are. I'm glad he went easily, and didn't have major health problems at the end, like some of the others have. He had a good life, and got spoiled ridiculously.

Down to one rat, Tenaar, now.

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