Bored, lonely, and stuck at work.

[moominmuppet]

Anyone still out there to entertain me for the next hour and a quarter?

Oh, hell. How about giving me something to write about? All topics fair game.

[Poll #936635]

Or maybe answering a question for me. What kinds of things do you do to maintain long-distance friendships and relationships?

Comments

[compostwormbin.livejournal.com]

I asked you a question. I jsut did a meme where I'll ask you five questions if you respond in the comments to "interview me". I can do that too if you like.

I'm having a hard time maintatining my distance friendships so I'm probably bad to ask. My blog was one attempt but I connect more with new people here than with my old friends. An unexpected result but I'm glad I still blog. Mainly it's IM's and phone calls, unfortunately sporadic.

[redbird]

Lots of email, mostly. Secondarily IM and telephone calls. Email has the advantage, where it works, of being immune to time zone differentials and other minor scheduling problems--though not the major one of just not having enough hours in the week.

There are people I really need to call, though.

[greeniezona.livejournal.com]

I send packages, pictures, letters. I recruit those I can for livejournal. Some lurk on myspace and I send incessant messages to try to keep in touch.

I don't really talk on the phone to anyone outside of my family. That's just me. And I'm horrible about returning actual emails.

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Well, aiela and I have managed to keep a long-distance friendship strong for over 10 years, and a romantic relationship for the last 2 of those years. I think the key is communication and appropriate expectation. We talk every week, usually on IM, and we know that we're only going to see each other 2-3 times a year in person, and make the most of those times rather than regretting the distance.

It seems to work well for us.

(My other current LDR is too new to make observations about. Check back with me in a year or two. *grin* But seriously, the above is how I've tried to approach LDRs in the past, and it seems to work well for me.)

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

I really can't do it. I need a lot of face time to count people as real friends.

That doesn't mean people I don't see on a regular basis are dead to me but not having day to day personal interaction is so much less than what I consider real friendship, those people sort of fall into another category.

I hope friendships and even relationships can be resumed but I don't exactly count on it. What does help, for me, when I do see people again, is that there will usually be some activity to use as a bond. There are a bunch of people from my past where if we hang out again we can play music and talk about what we've been working on and that often makes where we've grown apart, a good thing because you kind of share that and inform your creation with it.

But with some folks, I just try and be who they wish I was so that it makes for a more pleasant excursion. Not that my overall personality really ever changes that radically but I'll play up one facet or another if that's what a person wants to see and I don't feel that comfortable as the whole me around this person who i once did.

I dunno. Basically, I'm like Leroy. I kind of genuinely like most anyone but don't really pine for them once they're gone either. My heart only has a couple of settings. I have a couple of absolutely favorite people in the world who I do miss (usually romantic or artistic relationships), then there are people I really like but they're out of sight out of mind (that's most people) then people I don't like but don't hate (those are usually family and co-workers) and there used to be people I hated but I don't think I have any of those anymore.

Gosh! that was narcissisticly long-winded.

[imitari.livejournal.com]

What kind of things do we do the maintain long-distance relationships? Ugh. It's a lot of work. When you live in walking/driving/every day range of someone, there's really not a lot of effort that needs to be made. If someone is far away, it takes more energy and more thought to keep up. Kind of a given.

A lot of folks pointed out IM/e-mail. Those are great ways. My (extended) family is spread around the world and they use the internet regularly to keep everyone updated. They also, when they can, use video chatting. The phone, if you can afford it (hey! some times you can't!), is also good.

Packages, occasional vists (meet halfway, see the zoo), etc. All good. A little more expense and require more plannage.

But my vote goes for the old-fashioned, handwritten, snail-sent letter. For my generation (being in early twenties), the paper-letter is way out of fashion. Thingy is. My husband is currently in basic training for the military and the only way we can communicate regularly is through the postal service (phone calls are sporatic). The excitement of having personal mail, as opposed to bills, can't be beat. And, for me, the greatest part is knowing that the person who sent the letter held that paper in their hands, wrote those words, that it was there with them. A physical representation of their thoughts and affection. When I write back, I try to cram all of that in there: my affection, my thoughts, how the day went, etc. If the dog chews on it a little, all the better. Sometimes e-mail is too impersonal, too unreal. Letters are great tokens of friendship. Plus, when you get a letter posted in Russia or Indonesia and you're sitting in the Louisiana swamp? That's too cool. (Or from Missouri. That's good too.)

In my honest opinion (and experience) that is.

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

But my vote goes for the old-fashioned, handwritten, snail-sent letter.

I tend to look for cards for physical corresponance. You know, even on non "blank inside" cards, there's a TON of room to write personal notes. Cards store easier, and can be propped up on a desk or monitor for a more constant reminder. (My wife has a box containing every card I've ever given her since our relationship started five years ago.)

[lcohen]

well first off, we discuss how we're going to keep in touch. some folks i IM with at least five times a week, one is a four hour phone call every other week. if you know what you're going to do and can mentally adjust for it, that helps.

keep flirting.

have some idea of how much in person time is reasonable for that distance and try to make that happen.

check in a lot about whether stuff is missing for either one of you that can be supplied.

flirt some more.