moominmuppet

Apropos of nothing, except a random reminder that I'd meant to post about this:

We get a lot of bizarre chants and insults from the protestors outside the clinics. I mentioned recently that I was amused by "Wicked Witch" -- we also get "Deathscorts", "Evil Vultures", "Mother-of-Death"/"Daughter-of-Death", and "Young Lady" (which I despise more than any other, although they often attempt to use it ingratiatingly). Additionally, they spend an awful lot of time talking about how we could possibly take this "blood money", and suggesting other ways we could earn our income. One once offered to pay me double what I was making to come join them on the other side (yes, the amusement value of all this is that we're volunteers, as you'd think they'd bloody well know by now).

The woman who tries to stealth bless us with holy water over the fence amuses me no end -- she's constantly chasing cars with her little plastic water shaker, dousing whatever she can, and sending little squirts over toward us. I wonder what she thinks will happen if she hits us?

Many of our regulars have their own bizarre little chants: "They want to kill your baby, and they want to kill YOUUUUUUUUUU" is a favorite, for example. Various factual bullshit is common too: "Abortion causes cancer" is a perennial favorite, but sometimes they go the "post-abortion syndrome" route, and sometimes they go the "colostomy bag" route. Some of the least appealing and creepiest descriptions of sex I've ever heard are common too: "When your father went inside your mother..." Insults toward the men accompanying the patients are a common topic, usually starting with "A Real Man Wouldn't...." And, of course, there's the expected "Mommy, Mommy!" "Daddy, Daddy, save me!" "Grandma, Grandma, don't let them do this to me" "I speak for your baby" crap that sounds insanely creepy coming from a chorus of adult male strangers.

Weekend before last, though, one of our extra-crazies spent most of the day screaming the following:

"A Real Man wouldn't let another man anywhere near his woman's privates!"

Even aside the myriad other things wrong with that statement, it's so good to know that our health is of such great concern to this psycho that all of modern gynecology should go out the window, and we should return to describing our ailments from behind screens. *headdesk*

And they wonder why we don't take them seriously.

I wish I could remember the wording on more of the extra-crazy ones, but I think at some point I should just make a phone post to LJ when I'm out there so people can hear for themselves.

And yes, laughing at the protestors is at least in part a way of coping with how incredibly angry they make me when I'm walking intimidated and crying patients past their onslaught of cruelty and bullshit.

Most telling (lack of) reaction? That a patient can turn to them, in tears, and yell to them that she has cancer, and has to have this abortion, and the yelling doesn't even abate.

Best patient reaction I've seen in ages? A woman turned, looked at one of them, and yelled back "Ooh, baby, you're makin' me hot *smoochie noises*" That baffled and befuddled them for a good few minutes.