Fibromyalgia and sex
May. 10th, 2008 06:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moominmuppetDue to how graphic this is, I was going to lock it to my sexuality filter, but it occured to me that there are a decent number of folks on my friends list who aren't on that filter, but have fibro and might be interested in someone else's experiences and tricks for coping.
The constellation of symptoms (or in some cases technically "comorbid disorders") I really hate most, and find most upsetting about the fibro, are all related to sexual functioning.
On the most general level, when I'm flaring I'm tired, I hurt, and my joints are acting up, which is unsurprisingly a fast road to short-circuiting either interest in sex or ability to have sex without body pain. Eh. That can be worked around, and I can usually be brought around to interest in at least something slow and mellow, which often escalates despite some aches and creakiness here and there. My hips are my biggest practical problem, so switching around positions makes a big difference.
The migraines are obnoxious in the same ways, but I seem to be getting a better handle on how to have some good fun without triggering the coital migraines that I can be prone to. I've found that if I'm particularly conscious of my breathing, and make sure that I'm not holding my breath at all, and stay horizontal, I can more commonly dodge that and still have lots of fun (sometimes with orgasm, sometimes without, depending on how I'm feeling).
But far and away the most upsetting, uncomfortable, and generally sucky set of symptoms are the pelvic pain and urinary issues. They're not all that common, generally, but they're the most upsetting and uncomfortable by far. We spent years checking me for UTIs on a ridiculously regular basis, and not finding any bacteria, despite all the symptoms of pain and frequency. They finally did a full urological workup on me (which is, incidentally, why I know my bladder is actually substantially larger than average, which explains why Dad and I drive Mom nuts on roadtrips with how rarely we want to stop), and diagnosed urinary irritability. Thankfully, ditropan works remarkably well for me, and having the scrip, even though I only take it a few times a year, is a massive relief, because then I don't get caught in "this fun could lead to several days of suck" negativity about sex. That really fucked with me for a while before we figured out what was going on. Even better, the ditropan seems, from what I can tell, to have a similar effect on the dyspareunia/vulvodynia that sometimes occurs at the same time.
All this does mean I have to be ridiculously conscious the health of my reproductive system; I use it directly for my job, in patient-instructing, and quite directly in my personal life, thank you very much. And because I'm poly, and therefore safer sex considerations are always an issue, I have to be especially alert for any symptoms that could indicate something that needs to be treated, from yeasties to BV to actual UTIs to the unlikely but important issue of STIs. I actually keep UTI test strips at home so I can doublecheck and make sure that a bout of urinary irritability isn't actually, this time, a UTI that I should be treating, not symptom-masking. I also keep cranberry and acidophilus capsules around, and tend to dose up on those whenever I'm feeling weird, along with the ditropan, on a general "does no harm" basis.
OK, gotta run to clinic escorting. I'm going to screen comments, in case anyone wants to respond to this more privately. Let me know if it's ok to unscreen, please.
The constellation of symptoms (or in some cases technically "comorbid disorders") I really hate most, and find most upsetting about the fibro, are all related to sexual functioning.
On the most general level, when I'm flaring I'm tired, I hurt, and my joints are acting up, which is unsurprisingly a fast road to short-circuiting either interest in sex or ability to have sex without body pain. Eh. That can be worked around, and I can usually be brought around to interest in at least something slow and mellow, which often escalates despite some aches and creakiness here and there. My hips are my biggest practical problem, so switching around positions makes a big difference.
The migraines are obnoxious in the same ways, but I seem to be getting a better handle on how to have some good fun without triggering the coital migraines that I can be prone to. I've found that if I'm particularly conscious of my breathing, and make sure that I'm not holding my breath at all, and stay horizontal, I can more commonly dodge that and still have lots of fun (sometimes with orgasm, sometimes without, depending on how I'm feeling).
But far and away the most upsetting, uncomfortable, and generally sucky set of symptoms are the pelvic pain and urinary issues. They're not all that common, generally, but they're the most upsetting and uncomfortable by far. We spent years checking me for UTIs on a ridiculously regular basis, and not finding any bacteria, despite all the symptoms of pain and frequency. They finally did a full urological workup on me (which is, incidentally, why I know my bladder is actually substantially larger than average, which explains why Dad and I drive Mom nuts on roadtrips with how rarely we want to stop), and diagnosed urinary irritability. Thankfully, ditropan works remarkably well for me, and having the scrip, even though I only take it a few times a year, is a massive relief, because then I don't get caught in "this fun could lead to several days of suck" negativity about sex. That really fucked with me for a while before we figured out what was going on. Even better, the ditropan seems, from what I can tell, to have a similar effect on the dyspareunia/vulvodynia that sometimes occurs at the same time.
All this does mean I have to be ridiculously conscious the health of my reproductive system; I use it directly for my job, in patient-instructing, and quite directly in my personal life, thank you very much. And because I'm poly, and therefore safer sex considerations are always an issue, I have to be especially alert for any symptoms that could indicate something that needs to be treated, from yeasties to BV to actual UTIs to the unlikely but important issue of STIs. I actually keep UTI test strips at home so I can doublecheck and make sure that a bout of urinary irritability isn't actually, this time, a UTI that I should be treating, not symptom-masking. I also keep cranberry and acidophilus capsules around, and tend to dose up on those whenever I'm feeling weird, along with the ditropan, on a general "does no harm" basis.
OK, gotta run to clinic escorting. I'm going to screen comments, in case anyone wants to respond to this more privately. Let me know if it's ok to unscreen, please.
