Monday morning

[moominmuppet]

Southern Baptist support of the war
The Childhood Beliefs site
A journal I just started following - interesting perspectives on the war, and lots of other common interests besides

Snow this morning. Heavy, but it won't stick. And my office still smells like auto exhaust (this can't be healthy). They're doing construction on the other side of the wall from us. Between the sound of powertools and the exhaust fumes wafting over the wall, it hasn't been what one could call an ideal work environment recently.

This recent depression is particularly insidious. Noticing it in my level of life-functionality, but more in my general sense of myself, which has been pretty uniformly negative recently. Not the dramatic "I don't want to be here" kind of thing, just recurrent choruses of "not good enough" in every aspect.



You must be in a bad mood. I mean, it's not me. I
put a clean shirt on and everything, so there's
nothing wrong with me. Maybe you're just tired.


What mood are you in, based on your sexual preferences?
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Comments

maybe it's "Depression Season"...

[flyingawayj.livejournal.com]

you know, like Allergy Season or Flu Season or (if you live in PA) Construction Season.

And what is it about having ovaries that makes us (me) so critical of my body? I mean, sure, I have put on a few (20) pounds since getting mono, but like Nora said, I'm not fat.

Anyway, sorry for the rant...here's hoping April will bring us all out of this blue funk!

Re: maybe it's "Depression Season"...

[moominmuppet.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not snowing today; that's gotta be an improvement!

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

Golly, this is going to be a multi-faceted reply:

in re: Southern Baptists.
We fully support peace unless those bastards don't do what we say!


In re: Childhood Beliefs.
All I got was a blank page. Was that post-modern or a technical foul up?


In re: Habibi.
that is a damned good journal. A Chicago boy, and lead me to a Studs Terkel website with great audio. Wow, that was a Chicago heavy response.


In re: Snow.
Ha ha! Yankee! (sorry but I gloat because I can.)


In Re: Exhaust.
Sheesh! Tell me about it. Everything in this town worth walking too is on a frontage road of a highway. And everyone drives pick ups. I'm going to start carrying oxygen with me.

In re: depression.
Please, don't forget that depression can be a fatal desease. I hate to drop my usual sarcastic goofiness but I had a roommate who left his Bi-Polar/Schizophrenia treatment till too late. He lived. But is really a shell of a person after severely breaking down. I know you aren't that extreme but having seen the second worst outcome of chemical imbalance, I'm a over sensitive about this and therefore prone toward evangalizing.

In re: Bad mood (serious hat is off)
Maybe you were just tired. Lord knows I was.

Re:

[moominmuppet.livejournal.com]

In re: depression.
Please, don't forget that depression can be a fatal desease.

I appreciate the concern. Psych probs run in my family (and in my social group, too), so I've seen how bad things can get. I have crashed and burned in the past. I was on meds, largely as a result of that, up 'til last summer, when it just got too difficult to determine what was psych or fibro related, and what was med side-effects. I've been off everything since then, trying to get a sense of where my body and brain are at in their natural state. It's actually part of the reason I mention those sorts of things in my journal -- it's a way for me to track patterns. It's also a way to keep the folks who know my symptoms apprised of the situation; my brothers, forestfire and leyloken, as well as a few other folks on LJ, can sometimes spot patterns that I'm missing by being caught up in them. Additionally, it keeps me from isolating myself (historically the biggest problem with my depressions is that I hide, and things spiral out of control without anyone knowing about it). All in all, I've got a really good social support network -- we don't usually let it become the elephant in the living room that no one is talking about. I've talked pretty explicitly with friends and family about issues of hospitalization (if it ever got to that kind of point again), and tried to make sure that they know they can discuss concerns with me, if they have them. In fact, it does end up being a relatively frequent topic of conversation; the lines of communication are definitely open. At this point, it isn't particularly severe; I've gotten better at coping and adapting strategies (although I don't ru

[moominmuppet.livejournal.com]

(although I don't rule out meds again in the future), and trying to keep myself from falling into the same sorts of traps that I have in the past. Additionally, I think that this depression has been triggered primarily by situational issues; specifically the war. All the meds in the world won't fix that. If the biochemical takes over, and I start spiraling, I'll get back on meds, but at the moment, I think some level of depression is a pretty normal sane response to the current insanity in the world.

Re:

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear it. I remember reading how you had gone off the meds to figure out what was an effect of what. Combine that with recent posts about depression and I got a little worried.

Like I said before, you don't write with the kind of affect that gives me the heebie jeebies. (Maybe an hnngh? now and again but that's more a matter of taste than concern.)

So, yknow... Rock on with your bad self.

If there's still any snow, throw a snowball for me. Or at me in spirit. I Can't say I miss it but it is fun for minutes at a time.