Michigan trip (and last week catch-up)
Aug. 21st, 2012 09:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moominmuppetI don't think I've written about it yet, so here's a quick rundown...
It was wonderful. Really, really so.
We got a late start because Kidlet wouldn't go to sleep 'til 2am on Friday night, but we got on the road about 10am. Chad and I had a lovely drive with excellent conversation for the several hours Kidlet napped in the car, and I pulled together a tabard for him from some left-overs out of my craft supplies. Turned out he wanted no more costume than his sword, so we didn't end up using it. No biggie; it's gone in his toybox now for costume play later.
The latter part of the drive up was a flurry of calls and texts trying to adjust plans for our tardiness and figure out last-minute details, but we got to the RenFest around 3pm, I think. Chad took Kidlet to the kids' area, and we didn't end up reconnecting for another few hours. Took me a little while to manage to track everyone down, but once I did I ended up sitting in a nice, shady, not so loud spot with Jen and her husband, Jason, and Meagan and her partner Kelly, and got to have lovely catching up conversations. Less time than I'd've like with any of them, of course, but good for my soul regardless.
Around 6pm we all split up again and said our goodbyes, and I tracked down Chad and Kidlet at the joust. We took a rather rambling path out, just enjoying the the festival together and finding some souvenirs for Kidlet along the way. You can see here some of our score: the three dragon sketches were $10, the lovely mask was $32, the build-your-own catapult was $10. Dilly the ceramic hedgehog, who now lives under one of our tomato plants, is not in the pic but she's pretty adorable (Kidlet got to name her and find her a home in our yard). She was $22, iirc. Not too much spending for a fest with a small kid, I think, and most of it stuff that'll last for a while. And since Jason got us comp tickets, that's all it cost us total.
I'd managed to get ahold of my favorite high school teacher, Mr Hewitt (also my Quiz Bowl coach, which is a lot of why he was so central to me). Got to talk to him briefly about the loss of Dan (who was also on Quiz Bowl; it's how we met). Had a lovely dinner, wonderful chance to let him know what he meant to me, and a great chance to verify that he is indeed, from my adult perspective, just as thoroughly awesome as I remember him being in high school. So yay for that all 'round. Then Dawn met up with us for an hour or so, and she and I caught up. I think it's been at least a decade since we've seen each other face-to-face, although we've been in closer contact online than I have with many folks. It's kind of funny to go from sharing geographic neighborhood to sharing online neighborhood, but it works some similar ways.
After that we piled in the car and headed down toward Ypsilanti to meet up with Terrie, who generously offered to put us up for the night. Unfortunately didn't get to see Dave or their son, but it was lovely to catch up with her, and Kidlet loved her fairy-inspired house with all the awesome kids toys, several of which I took notes on: Frigits are the most awesome fridge magnet toy I've seen in my life, hands down. They're out of stock almost everywhere I've looked, but once they're back I am TOTALLY GETTING THESE. Also, I really want my own Loophole/Backspin. It's so pretty and fun to touch, and I love that in mechanical puzzles.
Terrie's a Kenyon friend, so we talked current Kenyon politics around the Maintenance Dept outsourcing attempt, and generally caught up on life for a bit before we all totally crashed. In the morning we had a relaxed coffee and chat wake-up, then piled back in the car to drive home. By the time we hit the Ohio border it was pretty clear my migraine was bad enough I wasn't going to be able to work, so I called off. At that point there wasn't a reason to rush home, so we took the scenic route along Lake Erie, stopped at a park to climb down the rocks to the water and then to have a picnic/playground time across the street at the park there. We got some good pics along the way, although mostly on Chad's phone since mine is dying so badly. We listened to some of the new Kids' Songs' discs, and just generally enjoyed ourselves. I'm learning how to work around the perpetual migraine and still enjoy life, as long as I can modify my environment as I need to avoid nasty stimuli. Outdoors with really good sunglasses seems to be mostly ok, thankfully.
All in all, it was a lovely trip.
A few pics from my phone, since I offloaded them all to Facebook right before the SD card took a final crap:
Me, looking like me.
Me, cracking up
Me, my favorite of the three, and a pic that feels "like me" to me
Part of last weekend's thrift shop score. Took them along this weekend as travel toys/car pillows. Kidlet informed me one is named Broccolina. Not sure which.
Still working at sorting the kids' books collection.
Tarma and Spike! Sleepy critters. (Tarma's the hound, Spike's the stubby-tailed cat)
Fish and dragons and Superman? Eh, why not? (Part of the larger wreck of the room - those are his main toy bins, but the contents are currently ... distributed ... elsewise.)
Our room is a post-Kidlet wreck, but check out part of what he and I did! (decals, not artistic talent on my part, fyi)
Also, in my ongoing mission to keep my LJ and FB relatively synced, here are a few of my FB posts over the past few days.
August 12:
To chad a few minutes ago: ...but I don't remember because I'm woozy-tired... "woozy" seems to be my day for the word, uh word for the day, uh word for the week... I can't talk because I'm WOOZY dammit!
Comment: Argh. Too woozy to fb. Accidentally posted to sex filter can't fix from phone.
Comment: *grin* well, my writing does get more... interesting... when I'm woozy!
Awww... Kidlet is bringing me imaginary soup and ice cream to make me feel better! How could that not work?
Almost time for work and still with the godawful migraine. Day 7. Decided to call off and try to truly defeat it, not just beat it into temporary submission. Even my typical multiday migraines don't usually last more than 4, but we've been having hellacious storms and weather shifts this week. I hope that's all it is. Some days I really resent the hell out of HR for pressuring me to get more treatment this year. It's helped in a few ways, but mostly had a pretty catastrophic effect on the delicate balancing act around my psych and physical health.
Finally got the migraine medicated heavily enough then got another good five hours of sleep. Feeling a lot better just hope it actually lasts into tomorrow this time!
Night meds kicking in, sleepy, chad just fed me, time for much-anticipated post-Kidlet-weekend snuggles, would really like it if the half-composed treatises would stop rattling around my braincase quite so loudly.
Kind of wondering if having the fibro under generally better control is contributing to the longer-lasting manias. Maybe because I don't burn out physically as hard and fast. Off all possibly triggering meds at the moment, still looking for an explanation that makes sense.
Oy. 338 items still left in my mailbox after dejunking, and the majority (just checked: 198. although that's everything I've sent myself and kept in the inbox, so also ideas for Kidlet, Villa Villekula, things to research, etc) are tagged "thinky thoughts for posts". Brain can stop with the overdrive soon, except that it's also so enjoyable to get all these thoughts "on paper"; it's stuff I like being able to communicate even when I'm depressed and totally failing in that department, so I often point folks back to relevant writings from the past.
August 13:
Also, watching the Roseann Barr roast. I adore Seth Green. I love beards. Why am I so disconcerted about them happening together?
Oh yay! Just ran into Rachelle from the awesome new art gallery across the street while waiting for my bus! Excellent start to my day! (Not so awesome: have now seen two buses headed the other way and still waiting)
Comment: Also, might be helping her with getting at least a basic website up for the gallery!
Brainstorm! Presents for long-distance kids in my life when broke - recording some of my favorite poetry and kids' stories for them!
Comments: Thomas Thurman YES!
Thomas Thurman (Separately from this, perhaps: may I write you a kids' short story so that you can record it?)
Sarah Young Absolutely, I'd love to! If I get a halfway decent recording setup (could probably use Caleb Bullen's if I ask nicely) I'd also be happy to do a full recording of Borrowable that you'd be welcome to share however you like.
Thomas Thurman Oh, what a wonderful idea! Thank you! ♥
Caleb Bullen Yeah there's a more than half way decent recording setup
Sarah Young Thanks! I'll try to arrange some time this week to have you show me the basics (I really only need the mic; otherwise I'm just recording straight to SoundCloud at the moment).
Virginia Awesome! I would love it if my kids can be on the receiving end... Nudge. Nudge. Nudge! Nudge?
Sarah Young *chuckle* Anna's b-day was one of the prompts for me coming up with the idea. Alan's daughter Madeline's recent b-day was the other. I definitely want to do Tatterhood and Three Strong Women for Anna. Maybe some loud silly poetry for Madeline, who just turned 1.
Made it to work. Eating leftover hummus by the spoonful because hummus makes everything better, doesn't it?
Hate the clinic hold music/announcement crap. Enough that I called Ombuds and made a plea, on behalf of every patient with migraines, that they implement a "press X for a silent hold" option.
Comment: *nod* Oh, it's extra-horrible on a cell phone, too. Makes all static and noise quality issues that much worse. And the people talking at me from the recorded sales pitches (mostly for bariatric surgery and other stuff that makes me want to punch someone) mean I have to keep listening really closely so I don't miss when the real human finally shows up on the line. Hate. So Much Hate.
*nodnod* Right now it's got trumpet music with a bunch of high notes, and mr happy man babbling at me.
Hmmm. My comment rant about "air freshener" auto-sprays in medical facility bathrooms didn't post for some reason. Consider those equally ranted about. Bad for everyone on some level, horrendous for some of us.
Anyone remember way back on June 10th or so (http://moominmuppet.livejournal.com/1668487.html) when I had the whole mania thing really blow up, and how I was trying to get in to see main campus psych, and couldn't? Well, it's now August 13th, and despite at least three callbacks to their offices, I still haven't so much as spoken with the adult psych triage nurse on the phone, let alone in person. And until that happens, no appt on main campus for Sarah. *headdesk* Still seeing the folks out at Marymount, but it's a bad fit overall, and a spectacularly bad one transportation-wise (close to two hours each way by bus on a _good_ day). Also, they don't use our EMR system, which really handicaps my GP in working with them on all this stuff, especially since a number of times I've called them the lines have been so busy they're dropped the calls, or the voicemail was already full. Argh, argh, argh, argh.
Comment: *sigh* Seriously. And it makes me incredibly angry, too. I'm doing my damndest to be a responsible crazy person, and feel like I'm hitting roadblocks every which way. What's bad for me is undoubtedly catastrophic for many others.
Could I go back to having a life that _isn't_ totally consumed by med and psych crap sometime soon? Please? 'Cause I'd really dig that.
Good maude is this about the best possible news!!!!!!!!!!! GAMBIER, Ohio (August 13, 2012) President S. Georgia Nugent announced today that she has decided to step down at the conclusion of the 2012-13 academic year. In accepting her decision, the Kenyon College Board of Trustees expressed its gratitude for her decade of distinguished service.
*sigh* Was just talking to Mom about how much the intensity and duration of this mania is freaking me out. I've been more manic than not since early summer, despite pursuing care and meds for it, dropping all meds that could be triggering, and basically doing everything I can to keep it in hand. That's way higher and way longer than my past experience or my Mom's memory of my past manias would predict. I've built my life to be pretty psych-issue-tolerant, and that's working how I need it to, mostly, but it's ridiculously exhausting to be running this hard for this long, to not be able to stop thinking, to not be able to stop writing, but also to be having such trouble focusing on a single thought (instead of a half-dozen at a time) that I'm even having trouble with the writing part now. I've also dropped about 10% of my body weight in the past six months or so, largely because I can't stop what I'm doing enough to eat, even when there's food in front of me. Not cool. And as I noted a post or two back, still unable to actually get in to see someone any more likely to be helpful than the fantastically bad emergency fit I found when Main Campus Psych told me "4-5 weeks just to talk to the triage nurse, let along get an appt" (yeah, it's been two months, a letter to ombuds, and three call-backs to the department and I'm still waiting).
Comments: Sarah Young Kristal; very much appreciated! If I don't get further with them soon I might take you up on that. I do have meds and am continuing to ramp those up, so I'm mostly looking for "settle down and get stable with them" long-term connection with a psychiatrist at this point, rather than the emergency support I have through a doc at Marymount who took pity and fit me into their schedule starting two months ago, and via my GP who's not comfortable handling my issues solo.
Kristal Ok.... Just keep yourself well and eat!!! :)
Sarah Young Thanks! The housemates are actually really good at pushing me on that one, and shoving food in front of my face, or I'd be in much worse shape.
Comment: Is your period directly triggering gender-stress for you? I find I'm both more stable emotionally and less bothered about being in a girl-body now that I've been using contraceptives to basically "steady-state" my reproductive system for a number of years (Nuvaring and Mirena have both worked well in that regard for me, although Depo had too many other side effects -- none are guaranteed to have that effect, and it could take months to kick in if you're going to get it, fyi). Might want to ask your doc about some of those options, if hormonal contraceptives are an option for you.
"Abortion is a blessing. When a woman gets pregnant against her will and wants an abortion -- it's the violence that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing. When a woman might want to bear and raise a child but fears she can't afford to because she doesn't have access to healthcare or daycare or enough income to provide a home -- it's the lack of justice that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing. When a woman has planned and provided for a pregnancy, decorated the nursery and chosen a name, and, in the last weeks, discovers that her fetus will not live to become a baby, that it has anomalies incompatible with life, and that preserving her own life and health, and sparing the fetus suffering, require a late-term abortion -- it's the loss of her hopes and dreams that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing. When a woman simply gets pregnant unintentionally and decides this is not a good time for her to bear and care for a child -- there is no tragedy. The ability to enjoy healthy sexuality without risking a pregnancy that could derail her education or career, the development or exercise of the gifts God has given her, is a blessing. --Rev. Dr. Katherine Hancock Ragsdale"
Comments: I'm betting off-hand she's involved in one of the religious groups that actively support choice... *research* Yup, as expected: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_Coalition_for_Reproductive_Choice
_And_ she's an episcopalian! Right the fuck on! (my childhood denomination, and one I still have a great deal of respect for: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katherine_Hancock_Ragsdale
One of the weirdest things that's happened in my life is when most of my friends decided to get at least somewhat superficially respectable, and I emphatically didn't. Still have moment of "strange" navigating that one. Love y'all anyway, though.
Comments: It throws me less with the friends who have always (in my experience of them) been "respectable" in various ways. It's downright odd with my college friends, though!
*grin* I feel pretty safe saying the veneer of respectability with most of my college friends is only skin-deep, and they haven't been replaced with pod people (thank maude).
*grin* Oh, I know! And if anything, it makes me more comfortable in the world when I look around and see all these seemingly normal folks around me, and remember that most of my fellow freaks look that way these days, too, so it's conversely unlikely that most of the strangers around me are anywhere near as normal as they seem. ;)
Well, finally have an appt scheduled with main campus psych for sept 17 (why yes, that _is_ more than three months since I called and said I needed to see someone asap to try to keep things from entering a full possibly hospitalizable crisis *eyeroll*) also, appt scheduler apparently has never encountered the idea that a patient might have questions about various providers and finding a good long-term fit, so I'm stuck with 'first available' and hoping she can cope with the pathology without pathologizing my weird but happy life. *double eyeroll* come on dude, I do more research for patients on doctor details on a 'oh I'm not the person to ask' tech support line. Off to look this woman up on our provider list, try to get at least a bit of a sense of her.
Comments: amen! I'm a damned hippy altruist queer pervy freak. that's a feature, not a bug!
thankfully, another feature is that I'm fucking hardcore about being my own advocate.
*nodnod* I have a lot of concerns about going any heavier on the meds than necessary. Few are completely contraindicated for me, but I've often end up, between psych and the physical, in an ever escalating cycle of adding meds to control what are likely actually side-effects of other meds. And I've seen what meds have done to my Mom's likely lifespan, the neurological damage, the liver damage, the diabetes, etc. So yeah, don't tell me I'm just "resistant to treatment" when I say "hey, I want to be really damned careful about this"
I find I run into problems in this regard in a few ways -- one is that some (lousy) providers are flat-out threatened by patients who are actively engaged in their own health care and want more of a peer relationship, and who may have info that the doctor might not have encountered yet. Those are annoying but relatively easy to weed out. The other category, in terms of psych stuff, is that many elements of my life that I find entirely acceptable and sources of joy look very similar to symptom clusters one would expect in mania (I've more than once had my poly or sexuality stuff treated as pathology, for example). I take the "is it disruptive to the life I want to lead" approach, and some providers want to override me on that and act like I'm just being, literally, delusional about that. It's always trickier with psych stuff, too, because of the assumption that crazy means incompetent in various ways.
One of the "therapist-screening" questions I often ask before even scheduling a first appt (and I'll ask the front desk to get back to me with an answer before I do): "Does [this provider] believe that open relationships are _necessarily_ disordered?"
yup; polyamory. also kink and general sexual exploration in my case. you'd think they'd all know the basics, but i run into judgmental attitudes about that stuff all the time.
and i don't want to have to take on posterchild educator mode when I'm trying to get my care needs met ( although i often have to)
Looking to see who I got scheduled with. I'm not complaining about her being an NP; I tend to get along with NPs better than MDs most of the time, although given some of the complexities of my fibro/psych interactions (which they never bothered finding out about in this whole vaunted three month intake nightmare) I'm not sure she'll have as strong a background in some of the med and physio interactions we might be encountering. I can live with that, though -- I'd rather have a provider I connect with who has to look things up or consult more often than one who I don't trust and that I don't feel understands the issues as they are specific to _my_ life (this is precisely why my awesome GP is so central to my life). She's got a focus in women's issues. That bodes well for me; likely I can connect with her on some feminist-health-geek levels, and that we may share some common language and framing there. All in all, I can live with this as a first shot at finding a compatible long-term psych provider, and don't feel like I'm going to waste yet another month on so seeing someone likely incompatible and having to wait for someone else to free up after concluding that. *chuckle* It's even within the realm of possibility, depending on when she did her grad work at FPB, that she came through our patient-instructing program and I taught her pelvics. This would be giggle-worthy, but no big deal. Honestly, I get better care, and treated with more respect, when I'm working with providers who have experience with our patient-instructing program and know I am one. Insta-cred. Kinda nifty. I really noticed it at the urologist's last month, since he runs the Lerner College of Medicine program, and we teach them.
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/staff_directory/staff_display.aspx?doctorid=5539
*nodnod* I teach both doctors and NPs in patient-instructing, and I strongly prefer how NPs are socialized in regards to their interactions with patients and medicine. Med schools are slowly catching up in this department, but often still have way too much attachment to a very hierarchal relationship between provider and patient.
Any other SFF fans out there have an automatic "bwuh?" reaction to there being an actual med called Soma on the market today? Who on earth failed Google 101 when they made that naming decision?
http://www.huxley.net/soma/somaquote.html
Oh dear; have we entered the era of ironic hipster med-naming? (A: nope, it's been around for a long time apparently)
New plan for organizing the overwhelming number of thinky-thoughts: General post, smut post, moomin recs post, rinse, repeat. Time to go write a Moomin Recs post about the joys of prisms in early science education!
Surviving day 9 of the damned migraine by researching kids' optics experiments for Moomin Recs. So much fun! Keep thinking of other things as I go -- Oh, Periscopes! I love periscopes! Can't forget Diffraction Grating lenses! Hard to keep it focused just on this topic, and not wander out into bubbles and non-newtonian fluids and magnets and everything else that needs its own separate post.
Incidentally, had a brainstorm about "One of the weirdest things that's happened in my life is when most of my friends decided to get at least somewhat superficially respectable, and I emphatically didn't." that I posted earlier. I think my reaction to it is in large part about the inversion in pattern between that and my experiences in queer activist community, which is pretty much my home base these days. Being an out freak in college and then closeting to some extent in adulthood is a bog-standard sociological pattern, no doubt. But it's also almost exactly the reverse of how things work in terms of queer closets. So a lot of my older connections have gone one direction, and most of my current connections are engaged in going exactly the opposite direction. That's a lot of why it feels so deeply weird to me.
target="_blank">Science Toys: Prisms and other fun with light
I'm really pleased with this one even if I still haven't had a chance to do the book recs portion...
target="_blank">Fond of Top Hats, Crazy Scarves, Bow Ties, Strange Creatures and Handbags that are Bigger on the Inside? TIMELORD. Of course she is.
target="_blank">Hey, check it out! The guidebook to north American birds of prey I took in to my tattoo artist 20 years ago! Also it's a beautiful little book; I turned it up going through all the books for Kidlet.
Isbn 1-55566-035-5 for those curious.
target="_blank">Hmmm! Really tempted to get the turkey vulture on my other ankle in the same spot. Maybe get the swallowtail kite touched up at the same time! (Just an idea for my ongoing tattoo journal; I've kept one since college to test which ideas have emotional staying power and collect notes and references. It's quite possibly the first non-living thing I'd save in a fire)
Turkey Vulture isn't a random choice; they've long been a big favorite of mine.
Alan Terlep, Kate Terlep, Steven Rousseau -- any idea at all if Dan Cunningham has an unusual middle name like Oakley? Please say no. Please. Because the closest match I've found in all my searching is a would-be-42 Daniel Oakley Cunningham, who apparently lived in Davison at some point, in a grave listing: http://www.histopolis.com/Grave/Detail.aspx?GraveID=744710569
Comments: Sarah Young Daniel O Cunningham was born on December 31, 1969 and died on March 17, 2006 at the age of 36. This person last resided in Davison, Michigan in Genesee County.
Sarah Young (according to this: http://www.death-record.com/l/137868682/Daniel-O-Cunningham although there's a typo in his age listing to 46 instead of 36. Dates would make it 36, though, which is about right for how much older than me he was; i seem to recall it was 5 years, and I'm 37 now)
Sarah Young Calling Davison High School first thing in the morning to see if they can confirm or deny his middle name for me, but this is looking frighteningly definitive already.
Sarah Young Especially given his heart and health issues.
Sarah Young Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. http://www.locategrave.org/l/2885315/Daniel-Oakley-Cunningham-MI listed as "adult dependent son" of a vet (his mom). I really can't imagine this is anyone else.
Sarah Young If it's him, his Mom is gone, too: http://www.locategrave.org/l/2885316/Patricia-Ann-Straley-MI·
Sarah Young Which would certainly explain why the number was disconnected when I tried, after being a stable contact for decades.
Sarah Young Steve, I talked to DHS today, they verified his middle initial for me. I think this is entirely conclusive at this point; I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news.
Kind of losing my shit a bit over the 99%-sure-but-can't-absolutely-confirm-until-tomorrow-if-at-all headfuck of this.
I stayed in closer touch, and for longer, with Dan than with anyone else after high school but pre-LJ/FB. I think only Alan compares in terms of duration and reliability of "every few years" reconnections pre-social-networking. Dan was one of my longest-term friends, and a close one (we met in Quiz Bowl, iirc), and a sort of years long flirtation that sometimes wandered places. His house is where I watched my first porn (how did I not cue in to queer being an option until years after that? Half the people in the room were straight-forward about their queerness, and right there handing me framing on a plate), where I first kissed my first love (although nothing in my life ever happens linearly), where I developed my adoration for Newfoundlands (none of these three things are related). It's where I went when I traveled back up to Michigan to see Grandma. I could draw a diagram of the place right now, including the layout of the furniture.
Dan's a filthy pervy son-of-a-bitch, and I think that's part of why we liked each other so much. His bedroom was cluttered with horror and sci-fi novels, random fantasy figurines, in many ways it looked reassuringly like mine did at that same point. He looked oddly like his hero Stephen King, or at least he did to me. He suffered from Michigan Mullet for a tragic number of years. He's probably why I still double-take on really barrel-chested men. Nobody more fucking barrel-chested than someone who uses a manual chair. I think the last time I saw him was back in 2000 or so. And then life pre-facebook happened, and I moved to Cleveland, and we somehow fell out of touch. At some point I must've found his number somewhere, because I didn't even use a cell phone last time I saw him, but his mom's number (where he lived the entirety of the time I knew him, due to the house already being chair-accessible and his other health issues) was in my cell phone.
Too late to reasonably call most of the people I'd most like to about this. So instead, I think I'm going to tag the hell out of everyone Davison-related I know, and see if someone who's been living more locally in the past two decades can confirm or deny. Or maybe I'm just going to wait 'til morning and try calling the school first.
So much of the emotional weird in my life right now is less about the mania making me react to things in any truly bizarre manner, and more about how the overall increase in my social contact levels brings me back in touch with people in all sorts of odd ways. I start trying to reconnect, sometimes I find the person is already gone.
Now, though, I'm just poking at a sore tooth. Going back up to Michigan on Saturday. Have decided since discovering the likely news about Dan that now I need to find out whether Mr Hewitt or Jane Kyriacopolous are still around, say hi if they are. Jane'd be 79 by now, so it's not all that likely, but she was still kicking ass as an activist in Detroit when she was 69, so it's possible. Mr Hewitt was younger, but he was a chain-smoker back 25 years ago, so my hopes are less high, and I haven't brought myself yet to ask his son, who's around here on FB somewhere. I look for both of them occasionally online (Jane was my 4th/5th grade teacher, Mr Hewitt my quiz bowl coach and one of my favorite high school teachers), but haven't ever really gotten anywhere. Last time I found Jane it was by calling Roeper, and I could do that again. Thinking about asking about Mr Hewitt when I call Davison High tomorrow to ask about Dan.
Comment: thanks! i did ask DHS when I called to verify about Dan Cunningham's death, and the woman I spoke to reassured me she'd seen Mr Hewitt just a month or so ago at one of the local restaurants. Good for my heart right now, after the news about Jenn St Onge and Dan.
Our prison industry absolutely horrifies me. The rise of for-profit prisons, especially, is a dystopian orwellian nightmare in a country that likes to call itself "land of the free".
Comment: It's really horrifying. And on top of that, with so many states disenfranchising anyone who has been through the totally fuckered up justice system, many can't even vote to change it.
Because my mind multitracks in both odd ways and ones that are pretty universal and primal, my way of coping with whatever I do or don't know about Dan has been to go poke around on fetlife instead. Many sexy pics of new friends who are fascinating me at the moment, but then I went over to look at my sweeties' profiles, because I almost never login to Fetlife, and was curious as to what they had up. Wow and damn, what a phenomenal reminder of how incredibly, incredibly lucky I am. Three totally different, totally amazing, mind-blowingly powerful and awesome women. Even if we never see one another as much as we'd like, even if mood and health and schedules interfere more often than ideal, wow. Just, wow. Also, still pretty floored by the impact of a pic I hadn't seen before. _I_ have gotten to touch this woman? To play with her, to kiss her, to have long rambling talks with her? Um, is it christmas or something?
*sigh* Sadness and grief happen, but my life is also chockful of sparkly. That deserves appreciation.
*sigh* confirmed it with Davison High School, so I'll be grieving two friends this weekend in Michigan.
FB never fails to baffled me. I'm looking back to find the posts from when I started trying to plan this trip to Michigan, and my Timeline says I posted nothing at all between July 31st and Aug 7th. WTF? That's when I was posting about learning about Jennifer St.Onge, I know. It's when I first posted about coming up and tagged a bunch of people and _got replies_, so how is it not showing up now? Anyone have any ideas?
On the positive side, I've sent off a message to try to get in touch with Mr Hewitt, who is indeed still around (Yay!), and left a message to see if Jane K is (if not, I know I said everything I needed to back about 10 years ago when I tracked her down and told her what she'd added to my life). Also, looks like I'll be seeing WinQuay Terrie DeBonis and Dave Algase!! Today one of my projects is making sure I've got all our plans in place, all phone numbers collected. It's going to be a whirlwind trip, even more so because we'll now have Kidlet with us (his Momma asked if we could take him this weekend). It'll make everything three times as hectic, but I'm psyched about this, since I was sad that the weekends didn't work out originally -- he'll love the RenFest. I just wish we were going the weekend of the Highland Games instead. I also want to figure out if I can toss together some cheap-to-free toddler garb, since I think he'd get a kick out of going in garb. Suggestions, SCA folks?
Comment: I was thinking about draw-your-own-crest -- we have some undyed canvas and are going to cut some pieces from that and then let him decorate, I think. I also just bought a old-fashioned-ish looking belt at Unique a few weeks ago with the express purpose of turning it into a swordbelt, so that should work. If I have time, I have leather scraps that may be useful in various ways, but the time factor is iffy. A tabard is easy to do over a simple canvas tunic, too: http://rentoys.com/store/tabards.html Maybe of a brightly-colored sacrificial sheet, and let him draw the crest on that. I suspect it'll be a superman crest *grin*. His current favorite sword is a light-saber. So be it. If I had time to garb myself, I'd be damned tempted to go as one of the Doctors and see if anyone gets the joke about why that's period-appropriate.
Sadly probably won't be able to purchase much while we're there, so I'm hoping to come pre-prepared so that's less rough on him. It's a broke-fun trip, though, and most money's headed to gas and food.
I just a few weeks ago got him a lightup color-changing noise-making lightsaber. Pretty sure he'll insist on that one; it's the current favorite. Hey, it's period! "_long ago_ in a galaxy far far away"
I'm totally taking the batteries out until we get there, though. Not in the car with my current brainbreakage!
So I'd left a VM at Roeper to see if they had contact info for Jane K. I got an email back from Emery, now alumni director, once my elementary school science teacher that rocked my world. Sometimes trying to reconnect uncovers grief, but sometimes it brings joy. This is most definitely the latter.
I just sent him this:
Emery!
I still speak of you fondly and frequently; I can't begin to tell you what Roeper, and especially you and Jane, meant to my life, and how much that two years there kept me believing in the hope of joyful education through a number of pretty crappy experiences in public schools. I fully found that joy again at Kenyon College, and might not have made it there without that crucial glimpse in elementary school. You also fed my love of science, specifically, in ways that are monumentally important to the joys I find every single day in the world, in ways that are central to what I try to share with and teach to other people. Thank you so, so, so much. (and if you want to use any part of this email to advertise for Roeper, you have my blessing!)
You might be interested in my kids' recs blog (http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/); I just finished up a post about fun ways to introduce kids to the joys of optics!
Here are some of the more sciencey posts I've made:
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/8276.html -- Science Toys: Prisms and other fun with light
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/6768.html -- Nifty Topic: Arthropod Uberpost (recs on books, science toys, jigsaws, puppets, etc)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/5860.html -- Review: Book: Science on the Loose: Amazing Activities and Science Facts You'll Never Believe (8-up)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/3412.html -- Review: Book: It's Not The Stork! A Book about Girls, Boys, Babies... (Ages 4-up) (including this one because I still regularly sing hymns of praise for the sex ed I received in 5th grade in your class, as compared to any other sex ed I received outside my home until college -- wow, did you get that right! I do a lot of sex ed work now, and how it was handled in our anatomy class has been a model for me.)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/3307.html -- Personal: Dissection as a kid science geek and animal lover (sorry about misspelling your name in this one!)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/3064.html -- Review: Video Series: Inside Nature's Giants (PBS)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/2347.html -- Review: Science Magazines for kids of various ages (0-14)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/1998.html -- Video: Bart Weetjens: How I taught rats to sniff out land mines [and TB]
*incoherent noises* anyone want to tell me what movie this is from so I can watch it RIGHT NOW? Also feeling a sudden need for Tilda Swinton and Sigourney Weaver.
Thomas Thurman http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m35rlwJG5X1r9rp3co1_500.png suggests that it's a portrait (by Annie Leibovitz) rather than a still from a film.
Sarah Young I think that turns me on even more.
I love it when a plan comes together.
Details are getting sorted for our whirlwind Saturday trip to Michigan (now Kidlet-enhanced). Leave here as early as possible Saturday (aiming for 7am - ouch.) Drive to Holly, MI. Get kidlet in garb, sunscreen Kidlet. Go to RenFest. See Jason SaintJohn, Meagan Costea, Jennifer Crispin while there. Have fun with Kidlet. Leave Renfest sometime before 5:30pm or so, fill extra time showing Chad around Holly/Davison/Flint, possibly. Meet up with Dawn 'Hull' Hazlewood sometime after 6pm, depending on how her day goes. Hang out for a while, head down toward WinQuay Terrie DeBonis, get there around 9pm, maybe a bit earlier, hang out. Drive back to Cleveland. Collapse. Hopefully some of these get-togethers will overlap with meals, or I don't know how we'll fit them in. (planning to pre-stock car with picnic supplies and dried fruit and such to get us through between -- Kidlet loves dried cranberries especially) Chad Joseph Salamon is also likely to take a lot of solo time with Kidlet. He's adorable, but not exactly catch-up conversation conducive.
Hey, guess what!? I have a migraine. Yeah, shocking, I know... starting to wonder if it's a reaction to one of the med shifts instead of a bad case of my usual crap. Feel like I'm being a pest (yeah, I know, I know) but calling my doc, asking about an injectable or other hardcore 'make it stop!' fix. Ow. Loud trucks on 41st. Don't normally mind traffic noises, but can't cope with my own front yard right now.
Comment: Yes, exactly. I was literally struck dumb by a loud large truck rattling by over the potholes. No horns or sirens or anything, but I couldn't finish my sentence -- not because I couldn't hear, but because I could no longer assemble words under that "assault". I get panicky when that happens, too. Start immediately trying to escape the inputs.
Well, going in better directions. Called doc about migraine. She's out, doc oncall will likely be unwilling to prescribe something new given my med load, which is understandable, but at least I was Responsible Girl and checked. Also calling for appt with Headache Clinic. Was hoping to wait for other med stuff to sort out first but this is ridiculous. And arranged loan from 403b to cover med expenses and missed work for rest of year. Huge load off my mind, since I've already blown through 1500 in Payflex and am now out of pocket for all uncovered costs. Also means I can afford to reschedule the massage through the clinic that I canceled for copay reasons. Whew. *calls appointment center*
Comments: Jamie Have you ever tried Topamax for the migraines? I know that the "super model" side effects can be annoying but maybe they will be minimal at the dosages the give for migraines, which is usually much lower than I take for the siezures.
Sarah Young I'm not sure if they could add that on top of the Trileptal, which is the same class (and also sometimes used for migraines -- frustrating thing is that I'm already on half the meds that should be preventative)
Kathryn You can check out needymeds.org to see if there are any assistance programs available for your meds. Some manufacturers will help folks with insurance, some won't. Sometimes they may offer a copay discount card.
Sarah Young Thanks! I suspect my income is too high, unfortunately. And usually it's relatively in hand financially, it's just been a rough and inconvenient year.
Sarah Young It shouldn't be as bad for the next med order, I'm pretty sure. I got whalloped with a $200-some copay on the last order because the initial copay on 3 months of celebrex was 187. Ouch. Was not expecting that. That should go down some -- apparently there's a deductible on each different med of $100, and it shouldn't be quite as high from here on out (although for brand-name pricey meds, it's generally $50/mo, so $150 for a three-month supply is where it tops out).
Kate Huh. I was going to mention Topamax also, which I take for migraines @ 150. Works for me but the brain cooties are obnoxious. But not as obnoxious as migraines.
Kate 150mg not dollars. :)
Sarah Young *chuckle* I'm definitely planning to talk through my current meds and alternate possibilities with the headache clinic. soonest available wasn't til oct 30th, of course. massage is next Wednesday though!
*sigh* called off, but it also got me wondering about my ada accommodation request so I checked in on that. Paperwork stall, think I got it moving again.
Comments: If HR deems it a reasonable accommodation for my disability given my job function (the short version of the legal ada requirements) they will approve certain job accommodations. My boss has my back on this, which helps immensely in navigating the process. More in next comment...
I've requested to offset some of my fmla missed time by working from home, provided there is a business need I can fill in doing so.
Email work and such instead of phone-based, if and only if we have enough of that sort to justify paying me for the time. I think it's a very reasonable request and benefits both me and the office. So does Boss. Just waiting for final approval from disability office after review of my med records and such. Me being hourly instead of salary apparently makes it trickier to get work from home approved.
Today's a good example. I could do that, at home in my own controlled environment. I can't function in the office with the broken a/c the constant background noise etc.
*sigh* As expected, nothing more GP can do for the migraine.
She doesn't think injectable triptans will help if the oral aren't after this many days of trying them, and I'm already taking all the other meds she'd suggest trying.
So next step, if I decide to do it, is the ED again, for IV meds for it.
Not willing to do that yet. Basically, I verified I'm doing the best I can, so I feel better about that, at least.
Comments: James Have you thought about/tried acupuncture?
Sarah Young I've followed the research on it for a long time. doesn't look like traditional form does more than placebo needles in random locations - it's likely the human caretaking interaction and the mild pain that's triggering the happy chemicals and efficacy. i suspect that's exactly why flogging works as pt for me, so think I've got that general approach covered, but free of charge.
James Interesting, I used to share similar thoughts re placebo effect until Jordan was afflicted with vertigo for 2 years. Acupuncture was the only thing that was effective in abating the vertigo. I've heard from other family members that it also works wonders for migraines. Just a thought if western medicine is running dry on options.
Sarah Young *nod* thanks; I appreciate it!
Jennifer Are you sure you are going to be up for RenFest madness?
Sarah Young it's going to be a rough day in a number of ways, but Renfest is outdoors which makes a lot of difference for me. I've done Pride like this, and basically hang at the edges
Sarah Young and terrie just offered to put us up for the night, which will help muchly!
Kate my experience (chronic migraneur) is that GPs dont have the expertise to properly treat CMs. I Saw a neurologist (then dean od U of Chicago) who worked out the first system that was successful for me. all the GPs just threw RX's at me.
Jeanette gotta second the neurology route - GP just kept bouncing me around - now I'm on meds that work to keep them away - not just treat them....but maude I hope you find relief soon. I truly understand.
Sarah Young yup; scheduled at the Headache Clinic at ccf, so as specialist as it gets. not til oct 30th though
RecoveredChildhoodMemory: socialist monopoly. I wasn't very interested in the fake money, and wanted to redistribute it so we could all keep playing whenever I was winning. As I recall, one of my favorite kids tried this too, years later. Caleb, however had provided actual evidence of his hippy childhood: Class Struggle: the boardgame. No really. Look it up.
There is disrespect of Pippilotta Delicatessa Mackrelmint Windowshade Ephraim's Daughter Longstocking happening _in my home_. Oh, hells no! "Like Heidi" my ass. This will not stand. (Have I mentioned our place and our household mailing list/group are Villa Villekula?)
Comment: Seriously! Heidi succeeds by being a "good girl". Pippi is anything but; she's a finger in the direction of authority everywhere, and she makes the world better by creating chaos and upheaval.
Goofus: Uses porn as an instruction manual.
Gallant: Uses porn as a discussion-starter.
(Love Queer Porn TV - not sure I can cancel link preview from phone, so you'll have to google)
Context since I seem to be only one who remembers them: http://www.cracked.com/funny-5498-goofus-gallant/
Now I have ALL THE FRUITS! (West Side Market prep for tomorrow's roadtrip)
At work, working the work. That's going ok and quiet, so I'm also catching up on my inbox. I normally keep it at single screen, ideally 20-30 items that I need to keep in mind, so things don't get lost.
It'd gotten to 421 items. It's been several hours just getting through enough that I'm down to about 120 now, but I already feel a bit better and less likely to forget important things, so yay. If you receive ridiculously belated comment replies and emails from me today, this is why, although I haven't even gotten very far in that yet.
Party at the house tonight, Caleb's B-day, Grafton's going-away party. I'll probably be at Giant Eagle shopping for tomorrow's trip instead. We leave, hopefully, at about 7am tomorrow.
Small children think sleep is for the weak. Unfortunately _we_ are the weak. Late night with Kidlet, late and extra-sleepy start on the road. Good thing I built an extra few hours in. We'll only be about an hour behind.
Michigan welcome center on 23. Time for pee and driver swap! Kidlet just waking up so Chad and I got some excellent grownup conversation time.
Michigan on Saturday was truly wonderful in all ways even if we were perpetually late on all our plans. Learning how to control my environment for the still ongoing migraine and have good experiences anyway. Pleased about this. Just wish they'd move their asses on the ADA accommodation request at work so I could stop missing so damned many hours though. Dreading loud office environment I can't control and a busy Monday today. I've got til 2pm to try to beat the brainbreak back into submission, so time to work on that. More meds, some healthy food, a hot shower and more sleep is the plan for my morning. More complete update on michigan (and some pics once Chad posts them) coming later. I think I'm planning to make this an annual Renfest trip with Kidlet, and annual chance to see Michigan friends. Also, chad and I decided on the drive back that we really and seriously want a boat (his family had one when he was a kid, and we live on Lake Erie, ffs) we're going to do some research and start planning a little savings fund. Also, his Dad was coast guard! Did not know this. Hello, information resource!
Medded, fedded (mmmm, avocado! It is too a hand fruit!), and showered. Decent start to the day, all 'round.
Fyi, phone is totally possessed, freezes and reboots randomly, intermittently fails to charge, generally a huge pain in my ass. If you can't reach me by phone or text, retry by email or fb, which I can see from other devices if this one kicks the bucket before I can replace it.
Comment: *grin* Yup, that's how I pulled everything off last Friday. This was just last minute backup of stuff from the weekend. And growing frustration with a phone that's spontaneously rebooting (looks like the battery is overheating, possibly) while I'm trying to make multiple phone calls about all the disability crap. *headdesk*
Also just catching a comedian on comedy central, Myq Kaplan. Funny!
Great explanation of everything we don't know! Exactly why I'm fascinated as a scifi geek. Need to write about how this connects to my love of octopuses. Definitely should be a moominrec.
target="_blank">Tedtalks into the abyss: robert ballard on exploring the oceans
Migraine motivated: called Division of Streets about condition of our street. Someone due out to look before September 18th. (We're a one-way between i-90 and Lorain. Lots of traffic and road beaten to shit even with frequent patching. I know to cope with emergency sirens and general traffic noise; I moved here. Big trucks slamming over rough surface is killing me though)
Just talked to hr again, trying to navigate this whole fmla, ada, short term disability, don't even know mess. Feel so helpless when I can't manage to get a straight answer on anything. Call back tomorrow, talk to your doc about that, no don't bother requesting a callback from your case manager, she's too busy. Going to go cry for a while and then probably call off work a-fucking-gain. Also, person I talked to denied all existence of any ada request in my file for first 3/4 of call. *bitter*
Called boss, called off for today and likely tomorrow. Let him know I may roll this into short term disability (these will be unpaid days, even with fmla, since I'm out of PTO, and first five days of short term are also unpaid so it may be best way to go when I'll already be at three in a row, rather than having to start the count over). Called ED to try to find out about IV treatment my doc suggested as last ditch effort. Will pursue that tonight or tomorrow am, I think. Need to call GP about short term disability request in case I need it. Wish I knew anything yet about timing on that intensive PT program I'm trying to get into. Afraid it could happen too late to fall within short term disability if I have to start it now. Hate all this not knowing.
Comment: Yeah, it pretty much blows. And it was HR leaning on me that led to this whole year of mess, anyway. Fuckers.
Newly created phrase in desperate need of a Urban Dictionary-style definition: Surfing the Hedgehog. (going the Ron Jeremy route is just too easy, and therefore banned)
Also, hate Facebook's interface even more when I'm migrainey. Too much happening all over the damned screen, can't cope. My eyes flicker all over trying to follow it, even when I'm trying to focus just on one thing, makes me close to seasick
Comment: It's also part of why I write so much and read so little when I'm a mess; I can focus on a single screen and getting my words out, it's much harder for me to process following multiple other people, especially in this kind of environment.
(although I'm also just hugely self-centered when I'm manic, and I still am, although the meds are finally starting to help there)
I hate trying to figure out how the hell to answer "which of your illnesses is this related to?" -- dammit, in my life they aren't separate. Mania=insomnia=fibro flare=migraines. How am I supposed to tease that all apart? Maybe my fibro meds are making the migraines worse. Maybe the psych meds are. Maybe they're making them better than they'd otherwise be. I don't fucking know, and these aren't discrete factors. (frustrating conversation with the nurse at my doctor's office; I hate having to explain over, and over, and over again what's going on. Yes, i already tried that. Yup, that too. Yeah, on a waiting list for that. Tried that, made everything worse. Can't try that, contraindicated. Have an appt to try the other thing. Are we done yet?)
Comments:
Kit Oh good grief. Also, fibro and insomnia go hand-in-hand.
Sarah Young Exactly. Everything in my life is "comorbid" -- disorders that are likely related in some way because they show up statistically more frequently together than would otherwise be expected.
Kit Yeah :/ I wonder whether it would be useful to describe fibro as the core condition and relate everything else to it (or similar idea)?
Sarah Young That's generally how I do it for my FMLA, but HR gets persnickety about it randomly. And almost always how I do it with medical staff, although this summer, with mania and migraine being my two biggest problems, it's more confusing if I do it that way, for once.
Sarah Young TOO MANY COMMAS.
Kit Bah. And, of course, these sorts of symptoms are exactly the kind to make filling in forms more difficult in the first place.
Sarah Young Or calling about stuff. HATE HOLD MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kit Or worse, trying to leave messages on answerphones.
Sarah Young Oh, for extra confuse-the-staff: the random major eczema explosion I'm trying to deal with (prescription hydrocortizone is now mostly controlling it, but only if I slather myself twice a day; I tried tapering down, no good)
Kit Gah. I want a brain transplant, or something.
Sarah Young What's kind of funny, and makes me kind of proud of myself on days like this, is that my body can fuck with me so much and I can still love it and all its imperfections. I've pulled off some accomplishments here and there in my life, but this one is remarkably important to me, and has felt like Big Stuff since I managed it.
Kit This is very much a good thing. Sometimes you want a holiday from dealing with it, though :-)
Sarah Young *grin* totally! Oooh, that reminds me of a sex post I was going to make about migraines and sex... That sounds like a lovely distraction until I hear back from my doctor's office!
Kit Win!
Thomas I love it when people I love get to know one another. Frubble.
Sarah Young Awwww!
Shelby I totally get that. Every time something's going on, I'm like, is my pressure up? are my brain drugs not working? am i experiencing the one randomly normal reaction to something not illness related?
Sarah Young *nodnodnod* Exactly. Am I being too cautious? Am I being too careless? the questions go on and on.
Is windowshopping purple suede lacing and rubber bouncy balls. /pervertables
Whew. OK, I think that's everything.
It was wonderful. Really, really so.
We got a late start because Kidlet wouldn't go to sleep 'til 2am on Friday night, but we got on the road about 10am. Chad and I had a lovely drive with excellent conversation for the several hours Kidlet napped in the car, and I pulled together a tabard for him from some left-overs out of my craft supplies. Turned out he wanted no more costume than his sword, so we didn't end up using it. No biggie; it's gone in his toybox now for costume play later.
The latter part of the drive up was a flurry of calls and texts trying to adjust plans for our tardiness and figure out last-minute details, but we got to the RenFest around 3pm, I think. Chad took Kidlet to the kids' area, and we didn't end up reconnecting for another few hours. Took me a little while to manage to track everyone down, but once I did I ended up sitting in a nice, shady, not so loud spot with Jen and her husband, Jason, and Meagan and her partner Kelly, and got to have lovely catching up conversations. Less time than I'd've like with any of them, of course, but good for my soul regardless.
Around 6pm we all split up again and said our goodbyes, and I tracked down Chad and Kidlet at the joust. We took a rather rambling path out, just enjoying the the festival together and finding some souvenirs for Kidlet along the way. You can see here some of our score: the three dragon sketches were $10, the lovely mask was $32, the build-your-own catapult was $10. Dilly the ceramic hedgehog, who now lives under one of our tomato plants, is not in the pic but she's pretty adorable (Kidlet got to name her and find her a home in our yard). She was $22, iirc. Not too much spending for a fest with a small kid, I think, and most of it stuff that'll last for a while. And since Jason got us comp tickets, that's all it cost us total.
I'd managed to get ahold of my favorite high school teacher, Mr Hewitt (also my Quiz Bowl coach, which is a lot of why he was so central to me). Got to talk to him briefly about the loss of Dan (who was also on Quiz Bowl; it's how we met). Had a lovely dinner, wonderful chance to let him know what he meant to me, and a great chance to verify that he is indeed, from my adult perspective, just as thoroughly awesome as I remember him being in high school. So yay for that all 'round. Then Dawn met up with us for an hour or so, and she and I caught up. I think it's been at least a decade since we've seen each other face-to-face, although we've been in closer contact online than I have with many folks. It's kind of funny to go from sharing geographic neighborhood to sharing online neighborhood, but it works some similar ways.
After that we piled in the car and headed down toward Ypsilanti to meet up with Terrie, who generously offered to put us up for the night. Unfortunately didn't get to see Dave or their son, but it was lovely to catch up with her, and Kidlet loved her fairy-inspired house with all the awesome kids toys, several of which I took notes on: Frigits are the most awesome fridge magnet toy I've seen in my life, hands down. They're out of stock almost everywhere I've looked, but once they're back I am TOTALLY GETTING THESE. Also, I really want my own Loophole/Backspin. It's so pretty and fun to touch, and I love that in mechanical puzzles.
Terrie's a Kenyon friend, so we talked current Kenyon politics around the Maintenance Dept outsourcing attempt, and generally caught up on life for a bit before we all totally crashed. In the morning we had a relaxed coffee and chat wake-up, then piled back in the car to drive home. By the time we hit the Ohio border it was pretty clear my migraine was bad enough I wasn't going to be able to work, so I called off. At that point there wasn't a reason to rush home, so we took the scenic route along Lake Erie, stopped at a park to climb down the rocks to the water and then to have a picnic/playground time across the street at the park there. We got some good pics along the way, although mostly on Chad's phone since mine is dying so badly. We listened to some of the new Kids' Songs' discs, and just generally enjoyed ourselves. I'm learning how to work around the perpetual migraine and still enjoy life, as long as I can modify my environment as I need to avoid nasty stimuli. Outdoors with really good sunglasses seems to be mostly ok, thankfully.
All in all, it was a lovely trip.
A few pics from my phone, since I offloaded them all to Facebook right before the SD card took a final crap:
Me, looking like me.
Me, cracking up
Me, my favorite of the three, and a pic that feels "like me" to me
Part of last weekend's thrift shop score. Took them along this weekend as travel toys/car pillows. Kidlet informed me one is named Broccolina. Not sure which.
Still working at sorting the kids' books collection.
Tarma and Spike! Sleepy critters. (Tarma's the hound, Spike's the stubby-tailed cat)
Fish and dragons and Superman? Eh, why not? (Part of the larger wreck of the room - those are his main toy bins, but the contents are currently ... distributed ... elsewise.)
Our room is a post-Kidlet wreck, but check out part of what he and I did! (decals, not artistic talent on my part, fyi)
Also, in my ongoing mission to keep my LJ and FB relatively synced, here are a few of my FB posts over the past few days.
August 12:
To chad a few minutes ago: ...but I don't remember because I'm woozy-tired... "woozy" seems to be my day for the word, uh word for the day, uh word for the week... I can't talk because I'm WOOZY dammit!
Comment: Argh. Too woozy to fb. Accidentally posted to sex filter can't fix from phone.
Comment: *grin* well, my writing does get more... interesting... when I'm woozy!
Awww... Kidlet is bringing me imaginary soup and ice cream to make me feel better! How could that not work?
Almost time for work and still with the godawful migraine. Day 7. Decided to call off and try to truly defeat it, not just beat it into temporary submission. Even my typical multiday migraines don't usually last more than 4, but we've been having hellacious storms and weather shifts this week. I hope that's all it is. Some days I really resent the hell out of HR for pressuring me to get more treatment this year. It's helped in a few ways, but mostly had a pretty catastrophic effect on the delicate balancing act around my psych and physical health.
Finally got the migraine medicated heavily enough then got another good five hours of sleep. Feeling a lot better just hope it actually lasts into tomorrow this time!
Night meds kicking in, sleepy, chad just fed me, time for much-anticipated post-Kidlet-weekend snuggles, would really like it if the half-composed treatises would stop rattling around my braincase quite so loudly.
Kind of wondering if having the fibro under generally better control is contributing to the longer-lasting manias. Maybe because I don't burn out physically as hard and fast. Off all possibly triggering meds at the moment, still looking for an explanation that makes sense.
Oy. 338 items still left in my mailbox after dejunking, and the majority (just checked: 198. although that's everything I've sent myself and kept in the inbox, so also ideas for Kidlet, Villa Villekula, things to research, etc) are tagged "thinky thoughts for posts". Brain can stop with the overdrive soon, except that it's also so enjoyable to get all these thoughts "on paper"; it's stuff I like being able to communicate even when I'm depressed and totally failing in that department, so I often point folks back to relevant writings from the past.
August 13:
Also, watching the Roseann Barr roast. I adore Seth Green. I love beards. Why am I so disconcerted about them happening together?
Oh yay! Just ran into Rachelle from the awesome new art gallery across the street while waiting for my bus! Excellent start to my day! (Not so awesome: have now seen two buses headed the other way and still waiting)
Comment: Also, might be helping her with getting at least a basic website up for the gallery!
Brainstorm! Presents for long-distance kids in my life when broke - recording some of my favorite poetry and kids' stories for them!
Comments: Thomas Thurman YES!
Thomas Thurman (Separately from this, perhaps: may I write you a kids' short story so that you can record it?)
Sarah Young Absolutely, I'd love to! If I get a halfway decent recording setup (could probably use Caleb Bullen's if I ask nicely) I'd also be happy to do a full recording of Borrowable that you'd be welcome to share however you like.
Thomas Thurman Oh, what a wonderful idea! Thank you! ♥
Caleb Bullen Yeah there's a more than half way decent recording setup
Sarah Young Thanks! I'll try to arrange some time this week to have you show me the basics (I really only need the mic; otherwise I'm just recording straight to SoundCloud at the moment).
Virginia Awesome! I would love it if my kids can be on the receiving end... Nudge. Nudge. Nudge! Nudge?
Sarah Young *chuckle* Anna's b-day was one of the prompts for me coming up with the idea. Alan's daughter Madeline's recent b-day was the other. I definitely want to do Tatterhood and Three Strong Women for Anna. Maybe some loud silly poetry for Madeline, who just turned 1.
Made it to work. Eating leftover hummus by the spoonful because hummus makes everything better, doesn't it?
Hate the clinic hold music/announcement crap. Enough that I called Ombuds and made a plea, on behalf of every patient with migraines, that they implement a "press X for a silent hold" option.
Comment: *nod* Oh, it's extra-horrible on a cell phone, too. Makes all static and noise quality issues that much worse. And the people talking at me from the recorded sales pitches (mostly for bariatric surgery and other stuff that makes me want to punch someone) mean I have to keep listening really closely so I don't miss when the real human finally shows up on the line. Hate. So Much Hate.
*nodnod* Right now it's got trumpet music with a bunch of high notes, and mr happy man babbling at me.
Hmmm. My comment rant about "air freshener" auto-sprays in medical facility bathrooms didn't post for some reason. Consider those equally ranted about. Bad for everyone on some level, horrendous for some of us.
Anyone remember way back on June 10th or so (http://moominmuppet.livejournal.com/1668487.html) when I had the whole mania thing really blow up, and how I was trying to get in to see main campus psych, and couldn't? Well, it's now August 13th, and despite at least three callbacks to their offices, I still haven't so much as spoken with the adult psych triage nurse on the phone, let alone in person. And until that happens, no appt on main campus for Sarah. *headdesk* Still seeing the folks out at Marymount, but it's a bad fit overall, and a spectacularly bad one transportation-wise (close to two hours each way by bus on a _good_ day). Also, they don't use our EMR system, which really handicaps my GP in working with them on all this stuff, especially since a number of times I've called them the lines have been so busy they're dropped the calls, or the voicemail was already full. Argh, argh, argh, argh.
Comment: *sigh* Seriously. And it makes me incredibly angry, too. I'm doing my damndest to be a responsible crazy person, and feel like I'm hitting roadblocks every which way. What's bad for me is undoubtedly catastrophic for many others.
Could I go back to having a life that _isn't_ totally consumed by med and psych crap sometime soon? Please? 'Cause I'd really dig that.
Good maude is this about the best possible news!!!!!!!!!!! GAMBIER, Ohio (August 13, 2012) President S. Georgia Nugent announced today that she has decided to step down at the conclusion of the 2012-13 academic year. In accepting her decision, the Kenyon College Board of Trustees expressed its gratitude for her decade of distinguished service.
*sigh* Was just talking to Mom about how much the intensity and duration of this mania is freaking me out. I've been more manic than not since early summer, despite pursuing care and meds for it, dropping all meds that could be triggering, and basically doing everything I can to keep it in hand. That's way higher and way longer than my past experience or my Mom's memory of my past manias would predict. I've built my life to be pretty psych-issue-tolerant, and that's working how I need it to, mostly, but it's ridiculously exhausting to be running this hard for this long, to not be able to stop thinking, to not be able to stop writing, but also to be having such trouble focusing on a single thought (instead of a half-dozen at a time) that I'm even having trouble with the writing part now. I've also dropped about 10% of my body weight in the past six months or so, largely because I can't stop what I'm doing enough to eat, even when there's food in front of me. Not cool. And as I noted a post or two back, still unable to actually get in to see someone any more likely to be helpful than the fantastically bad emergency fit I found when Main Campus Psych told me "4-5 weeks just to talk to the triage nurse, let along get an appt" (yeah, it's been two months, a letter to ombuds, and three call-backs to the department and I'm still waiting).
Comments: Sarah Young Kristal; very much appreciated! If I don't get further with them soon I might take you up on that. I do have meds and am continuing to ramp those up, so I'm mostly looking for "settle down and get stable with them" long-term connection with a psychiatrist at this point, rather than the emergency support I have through a doc at Marymount who took pity and fit me into their schedule starting two months ago, and via my GP who's not comfortable handling my issues solo.
Kristal Ok.... Just keep yourself well and eat!!! :)
Sarah Young Thanks! The housemates are actually really good at pushing me on that one, and shoving food in front of my face, or I'd be in much worse shape.
Comment: Is your period directly triggering gender-stress for you? I find I'm both more stable emotionally and less bothered about being in a girl-body now that I've been using contraceptives to basically "steady-state" my reproductive system for a number of years (Nuvaring and Mirena have both worked well in that regard for me, although Depo had too many other side effects -- none are guaranteed to have that effect, and it could take months to kick in if you're going to get it, fyi). Might want to ask your doc about some of those options, if hormonal contraceptives are an option for you.
"Abortion is a blessing. When a woman gets pregnant against her will and wants an abortion -- it's the violence that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing. When a woman might want to bear and raise a child but fears she can't afford to because she doesn't have access to healthcare or daycare or enough income to provide a home -- it's the lack of justice that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing. When a woman has planned and provided for a pregnancy, decorated the nursery and chosen a name, and, in the last weeks, discovers that her fetus will not live to become a baby, that it has anomalies incompatible with life, and that preserving her own life and health, and sparing the fetus suffering, require a late-term abortion -- it's the loss of her hopes and dreams that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing. When a woman simply gets pregnant unintentionally and decides this is not a good time for her to bear and care for a child -- there is no tragedy. The ability to enjoy healthy sexuality without risking a pregnancy that could derail her education or career, the development or exercise of the gifts God has given her, is a blessing. --Rev. Dr. Katherine Hancock Ragsdale"
Comments: I'm betting off-hand she's involved in one of the religious groups that actively support choice... *research* Yup, as expected: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_Coalition_for_Reproductive_Choice
_And_ she's an episcopalian! Right the fuck on! (my childhood denomination, and one I still have a great deal of respect for: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katherine_Hancock_Ragsdale
One of the weirdest things that's happened in my life is when most of my friends decided to get at least somewhat superficially respectable, and I emphatically didn't. Still have moment of "strange" navigating that one. Love y'all anyway, though.
Comments: It throws me less with the friends who have always (in my experience of them) been "respectable" in various ways. It's downright odd with my college friends, though!
*grin* I feel pretty safe saying the veneer of respectability with most of my college friends is only skin-deep, and they haven't been replaced with pod people (thank maude).
*grin* Oh, I know! And if anything, it makes me more comfortable in the world when I look around and see all these seemingly normal folks around me, and remember that most of my fellow freaks look that way these days, too, so it's conversely unlikely that most of the strangers around me are anywhere near as normal as they seem. ;)
Well, finally have an appt scheduled with main campus psych for sept 17 (why yes, that _is_ more than three months since I called and said I needed to see someone asap to try to keep things from entering a full possibly hospitalizable crisis *eyeroll*) also, appt scheduler apparently has never encountered the idea that a patient might have questions about various providers and finding a good long-term fit, so I'm stuck with 'first available' and hoping she can cope with the pathology without pathologizing my weird but happy life. *double eyeroll* come on dude, I do more research for patients on doctor details on a 'oh I'm not the person to ask' tech support line. Off to look this woman up on our provider list, try to get at least a bit of a sense of her.
Comments: amen! I'm a damned hippy altruist queer pervy freak. that's a feature, not a bug!
thankfully, another feature is that I'm fucking hardcore about being my own advocate.
*nodnod* I have a lot of concerns about going any heavier on the meds than necessary. Few are completely contraindicated for me, but I've often end up, between psych and the physical, in an ever escalating cycle of adding meds to control what are likely actually side-effects of other meds. And I've seen what meds have done to my Mom's likely lifespan, the neurological damage, the liver damage, the diabetes, etc. So yeah, don't tell me I'm just "resistant to treatment" when I say "hey, I want to be really damned careful about this"
I find I run into problems in this regard in a few ways -- one is that some (lousy) providers are flat-out threatened by patients who are actively engaged in their own health care and want more of a peer relationship, and who may have info that the doctor might not have encountered yet. Those are annoying but relatively easy to weed out. The other category, in terms of psych stuff, is that many elements of my life that I find entirely acceptable and sources of joy look very similar to symptom clusters one would expect in mania (I've more than once had my poly or sexuality stuff treated as pathology, for example). I take the "is it disruptive to the life I want to lead" approach, and some providers want to override me on that and act like I'm just being, literally, delusional about that. It's always trickier with psych stuff, too, because of the assumption that crazy means incompetent in various ways.
One of the "therapist-screening" questions I often ask before even scheduling a first appt (and I'll ask the front desk to get back to me with an answer before I do): "Does [this provider] believe that open relationships are _necessarily_ disordered?"
yup; polyamory. also kink and general sexual exploration in my case. you'd think they'd all know the basics, but i run into judgmental attitudes about that stuff all the time.
and i don't want to have to take on posterchild educator mode when I'm trying to get my care needs met ( although i often have to)
Looking to see who I got scheduled with. I'm not complaining about her being an NP; I tend to get along with NPs better than MDs most of the time, although given some of the complexities of my fibro/psych interactions (which they never bothered finding out about in this whole vaunted three month intake nightmare) I'm not sure she'll have as strong a background in some of the med and physio interactions we might be encountering. I can live with that, though -- I'd rather have a provider I connect with who has to look things up or consult more often than one who I don't trust and that I don't feel understands the issues as they are specific to _my_ life (this is precisely why my awesome GP is so central to my life). She's got a focus in women's issues. That bodes well for me; likely I can connect with her on some feminist-health-geek levels, and that we may share some common language and framing there. All in all, I can live with this as a first shot at finding a compatible long-term psych provider, and don't feel like I'm going to waste yet another month on so seeing someone likely incompatible and having to wait for someone else to free up after concluding that. *chuckle* It's even within the realm of possibility, depending on when she did her grad work at FPB, that she came through our patient-instructing program and I taught her pelvics. This would be giggle-worthy, but no big deal. Honestly, I get better care, and treated with more respect, when I'm working with providers who have experience with our patient-instructing program and know I am one. Insta-cred. Kinda nifty. I really noticed it at the urologist's last month, since he runs the Lerner College of Medicine program, and we teach them.
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/staff_directory/staff_display.aspx?doctorid=5539
*nodnod* I teach both doctors and NPs in patient-instructing, and I strongly prefer how NPs are socialized in regards to their interactions with patients and medicine. Med schools are slowly catching up in this department, but often still have way too much attachment to a very hierarchal relationship between provider and patient.
Any other SFF fans out there have an automatic "bwuh?" reaction to there being an actual med called Soma on the market today? Who on earth failed Google 101 when they made that naming decision?
http://www.huxley.net/soma/somaquote.html
Oh dear; have we entered the era of ironic hipster med-naming? (A: nope, it's been around for a long time apparently)
New plan for organizing the overwhelming number of thinky-thoughts: General post, smut post, moomin recs post, rinse, repeat. Time to go write a Moomin Recs post about the joys of prisms in early science education!
Surviving day 9 of the damned migraine by researching kids' optics experiments for Moomin Recs. So much fun! Keep thinking of other things as I go -- Oh, Periscopes! I love periscopes! Can't forget Diffraction Grating lenses! Hard to keep it focused just on this topic, and not wander out into bubbles and non-newtonian fluids and magnets and everything else that needs its own separate post.
Incidentally, had a brainstorm about "One of the weirdest things that's happened in my life is when most of my friends decided to get at least somewhat superficially respectable, and I emphatically didn't." that I posted earlier. I think my reaction to it is in large part about the inversion in pattern between that and my experiences in queer activist community, which is pretty much my home base these days. Being an out freak in college and then closeting to some extent in adulthood is a bog-standard sociological pattern, no doubt. But it's also almost exactly the reverse of how things work in terms of queer closets. So a lot of my older connections have gone one direction, and most of my current connections are engaged in going exactly the opposite direction. That's a lot of why it feels so deeply weird to me.
target="_blank">Science Toys: Prisms and other fun with light
I'm really pleased with this one even if I still haven't had a chance to do the book recs portion...
target="_blank">Fond of Top Hats, Crazy Scarves, Bow Ties, Strange Creatures and Handbags that are Bigger on the Inside? TIMELORD. Of course she is.
target="_blank">Hey, check it out! The guidebook to north American birds of prey I took in to my tattoo artist 20 years ago! Also it's a beautiful little book; I turned it up going through all the books for Kidlet.
Isbn 1-55566-035-5 for those curious.
target="_blank">Hmmm! Really tempted to get the turkey vulture on my other ankle in the same spot. Maybe get the swallowtail kite touched up at the same time! (Just an idea for my ongoing tattoo journal; I've kept one since college to test which ideas have emotional staying power and collect notes and references. It's quite possibly the first non-living thing I'd save in a fire)
Turkey Vulture isn't a random choice; they've long been a big favorite of mine.
Alan Terlep, Kate Terlep, Steven Rousseau -- any idea at all if Dan Cunningham has an unusual middle name like Oakley? Please say no. Please. Because the closest match I've found in all my searching is a would-be-42 Daniel Oakley Cunningham, who apparently lived in Davison at some point, in a grave listing: http://www.histopolis.com/Grave/Detail.aspx?GraveID=744710569
Comments: Sarah Young Daniel O Cunningham was born on December 31, 1969 and died on March 17, 2006 at the age of 36. This person last resided in Davison, Michigan in Genesee County.
Sarah Young (according to this: http://www.death-record.com/l/137868682/Daniel-O-Cunningham although there's a typo in his age listing to 46 instead of 36. Dates would make it 36, though, which is about right for how much older than me he was; i seem to recall it was 5 years, and I'm 37 now)
Sarah Young Calling Davison High School first thing in the morning to see if they can confirm or deny his middle name for me, but this is looking frighteningly definitive already.
Sarah Young Especially given his heart and health issues.
Sarah Young Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. http://www.locategrave.org/l/2885315/Daniel-Oakley-Cunningham-MI listed as "adult dependent son" of a vet (his mom). I really can't imagine this is anyone else.
Sarah Young If it's him, his Mom is gone, too: http://www.locategrave.org/l/2885316/Patricia-Ann-Straley-MI·
Sarah Young Which would certainly explain why the number was disconnected when I tried, after being a stable contact for decades.
Sarah Young Steve, I talked to DHS today, they verified his middle initial for me. I think this is entirely conclusive at this point; I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news.
Kind of losing my shit a bit over the 99%-sure-but-can't-absolutely-confirm-until-tomorrow-if-at-all headfuck of this.
I stayed in closer touch, and for longer, with Dan than with anyone else after high school but pre-LJ/FB. I think only Alan compares in terms of duration and reliability of "every few years" reconnections pre-social-networking. Dan was one of my longest-term friends, and a close one (we met in Quiz Bowl, iirc), and a sort of years long flirtation that sometimes wandered places. His house is where I watched my first porn (how did I not cue in to queer being an option until years after that? Half the people in the room were straight-forward about their queerness, and right there handing me framing on a plate), where I first kissed my first love (although nothing in my life ever happens linearly), where I developed my adoration for Newfoundlands (none of these three things are related). It's where I went when I traveled back up to Michigan to see Grandma. I could draw a diagram of the place right now, including the layout of the furniture.
Dan's a filthy pervy son-of-a-bitch, and I think that's part of why we liked each other so much. His bedroom was cluttered with horror and sci-fi novels, random fantasy figurines, in many ways it looked reassuringly like mine did at that same point. He looked oddly like his hero Stephen King, or at least he did to me. He suffered from Michigan Mullet for a tragic number of years. He's probably why I still double-take on really barrel-chested men. Nobody more fucking barrel-chested than someone who uses a manual chair. I think the last time I saw him was back in 2000 or so. And then life pre-facebook happened, and I moved to Cleveland, and we somehow fell out of touch. At some point I must've found his number somewhere, because I didn't even use a cell phone last time I saw him, but his mom's number (where he lived the entirety of the time I knew him, due to the house already being chair-accessible and his other health issues) was in my cell phone.
Too late to reasonably call most of the people I'd most like to about this. So instead, I think I'm going to tag the hell out of everyone Davison-related I know, and see if someone who's been living more locally in the past two decades can confirm or deny. Or maybe I'm just going to wait 'til morning and try calling the school first.
So much of the emotional weird in my life right now is less about the mania making me react to things in any truly bizarre manner, and more about how the overall increase in my social contact levels brings me back in touch with people in all sorts of odd ways. I start trying to reconnect, sometimes I find the person is already gone.
Now, though, I'm just poking at a sore tooth. Going back up to Michigan on Saturday. Have decided since discovering the likely news about Dan that now I need to find out whether Mr Hewitt or Jane Kyriacopolous are still around, say hi if they are. Jane'd be 79 by now, so it's not all that likely, but she was still kicking ass as an activist in Detroit when she was 69, so it's possible. Mr Hewitt was younger, but he was a chain-smoker back 25 years ago, so my hopes are less high, and I haven't brought myself yet to ask his son, who's around here on FB somewhere. I look for both of them occasionally online (Jane was my 4th/5th grade teacher, Mr Hewitt my quiz bowl coach and one of my favorite high school teachers), but haven't ever really gotten anywhere. Last time I found Jane it was by calling Roeper, and I could do that again. Thinking about asking about Mr Hewitt when I call Davison High tomorrow to ask about Dan.
Comment: thanks! i did ask DHS when I called to verify about Dan Cunningham's death, and the woman I spoke to reassured me she'd seen Mr Hewitt just a month or so ago at one of the local restaurants. Good for my heart right now, after the news about Jenn St Onge and Dan.
Our prison industry absolutely horrifies me. The rise of for-profit prisons, especially, is a dystopian orwellian nightmare in a country that likes to call itself "land of the free".
Comment: It's really horrifying. And on top of that, with so many states disenfranchising anyone who has been through the totally fuckered up justice system, many can't even vote to change it.
Because my mind multitracks in both odd ways and ones that are pretty universal and primal, my way of coping with whatever I do or don't know about Dan has been to go poke around on fetlife instead. Many sexy pics of new friends who are fascinating me at the moment, but then I went over to look at my sweeties' profiles, because I almost never login to Fetlife, and was curious as to what they had up. Wow and damn, what a phenomenal reminder of how incredibly, incredibly lucky I am. Three totally different, totally amazing, mind-blowingly powerful and awesome women. Even if we never see one another as much as we'd like, even if mood and health and schedules interfere more often than ideal, wow. Just, wow. Also, still pretty floored by the impact of a pic I hadn't seen before. _I_ have gotten to touch this woman? To play with her, to kiss her, to have long rambling talks with her? Um, is it christmas or something?
*sigh* Sadness and grief happen, but my life is also chockful of sparkly. That deserves appreciation.
*sigh* confirmed it with Davison High School, so I'll be grieving two friends this weekend in Michigan.
FB never fails to baffled me. I'm looking back to find the posts from when I started trying to plan this trip to Michigan, and my Timeline says I posted nothing at all between July 31st and Aug 7th. WTF? That's when I was posting about learning about Jennifer St.Onge, I know. It's when I first posted about coming up and tagged a bunch of people and _got replies_, so how is it not showing up now? Anyone have any ideas?
On the positive side, I've sent off a message to try to get in touch with Mr Hewitt, who is indeed still around (Yay!), and left a message to see if Jane K is (if not, I know I said everything I needed to back about 10 years ago when I tracked her down and told her what she'd added to my life). Also, looks like I'll be seeing WinQuay Terrie DeBonis and Dave Algase!! Today one of my projects is making sure I've got all our plans in place, all phone numbers collected. It's going to be a whirlwind trip, even more so because we'll now have Kidlet with us (his Momma asked if we could take him this weekend). It'll make everything three times as hectic, but I'm psyched about this, since I was sad that the weekends didn't work out originally -- he'll love the RenFest. I just wish we were going the weekend of the Highland Games instead. I also want to figure out if I can toss together some cheap-to-free toddler garb, since I think he'd get a kick out of going in garb. Suggestions, SCA folks?
Comment: I was thinking about draw-your-own-crest -- we have some undyed canvas and are going to cut some pieces from that and then let him decorate, I think. I also just bought a old-fashioned-ish looking belt at Unique a few weeks ago with the express purpose of turning it into a swordbelt, so that should work. If I have time, I have leather scraps that may be useful in various ways, but the time factor is iffy. A tabard is easy to do over a simple canvas tunic, too: http://rentoys.com/store/tabards.html Maybe of a brightly-colored sacrificial sheet, and let him draw the crest on that. I suspect it'll be a superman crest *grin*. His current favorite sword is a light-saber. So be it. If I had time to garb myself, I'd be damned tempted to go as one of the Doctors and see if anyone gets the joke about why that's period-appropriate.
Sadly probably won't be able to purchase much while we're there, so I'm hoping to come pre-prepared so that's less rough on him. It's a broke-fun trip, though, and most money's headed to gas and food.
I just a few weeks ago got him a lightup color-changing noise-making lightsaber. Pretty sure he'll insist on that one; it's the current favorite. Hey, it's period! "_long ago_ in a galaxy far far away"
I'm totally taking the batteries out until we get there, though. Not in the car with my current brainbreakage!
So I'd left a VM at Roeper to see if they had contact info for Jane K. I got an email back from Emery, now alumni director, once my elementary school science teacher that rocked my world. Sometimes trying to reconnect uncovers grief, but sometimes it brings joy. This is most definitely the latter.
I just sent him this:
Emery!
I still speak of you fondly and frequently; I can't begin to tell you what Roeper, and especially you and Jane, meant to my life, and how much that two years there kept me believing in the hope of joyful education through a number of pretty crappy experiences in public schools. I fully found that joy again at Kenyon College, and might not have made it there without that crucial glimpse in elementary school. You also fed my love of science, specifically, in ways that are monumentally important to the joys I find every single day in the world, in ways that are central to what I try to share with and teach to other people. Thank you so, so, so much. (and if you want to use any part of this email to advertise for Roeper, you have my blessing!)
You might be interested in my kids' recs blog (http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/); I just finished up a post about fun ways to introduce kids to the joys of optics!
Here are some of the more sciencey posts I've made:
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/8276.html -- Science Toys: Prisms and other fun with light
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/6768.html -- Nifty Topic: Arthropod Uberpost (recs on books, science toys, jigsaws, puppets, etc)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/5860.html -- Review: Book: Science on the Loose: Amazing Activities and Science Facts You'll Never Believe (8-up)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/3412.html -- Review: Book: It's Not The Stork! A Book about Girls, Boys, Babies... (Ages 4-up) (including this one because I still regularly sing hymns of praise for the sex ed I received in 5th grade in your class, as compared to any other sex ed I received outside my home until college -- wow, did you get that right! I do a lot of sex ed work now, and how it was handled in our anatomy class has been a model for me.)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/3307.html -- Personal: Dissection as a kid science geek and animal lover (sorry about misspelling your name in this one!)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/3064.html -- Review: Video Series: Inside Nature's Giants (PBS)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/2347.html -- Review: Science Magazines for kids of various ages (0-14)
http://moominrecs.livejournal.com/1998.html -- Video: Bart Weetjens: How I taught rats to sniff out land mines [and TB]
*incoherent noises* anyone want to tell me what movie this is from so I can watch it RIGHT NOW? Also feeling a sudden need for Tilda Swinton and Sigourney Weaver.
Thomas Thurman http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m35rlwJG5X1r9rp3co1_500.png suggests that it's a portrait (by Annie Leibovitz) rather than a still from a film.
Sarah Young I think that turns me on even more.
I love it when a plan comes together.
Details are getting sorted for our whirlwind Saturday trip to Michigan (now Kidlet-enhanced). Leave here as early as possible Saturday (aiming for 7am - ouch.) Drive to Holly, MI. Get kidlet in garb, sunscreen Kidlet. Go to RenFest. See Jason SaintJohn, Meagan Costea, Jennifer Crispin while there. Have fun with Kidlet. Leave Renfest sometime before 5:30pm or so, fill extra time showing Chad around Holly/Davison/Flint, possibly. Meet up with Dawn 'Hull' Hazlewood sometime after 6pm, depending on how her day goes. Hang out for a while, head down toward WinQuay Terrie DeBonis, get there around 9pm, maybe a bit earlier, hang out. Drive back to Cleveland. Collapse. Hopefully some of these get-togethers will overlap with meals, or I don't know how we'll fit them in. (planning to pre-stock car with picnic supplies and dried fruit and such to get us through between -- Kidlet loves dried cranberries especially) Chad Joseph Salamon is also likely to take a lot of solo time with Kidlet. He's adorable, but not exactly catch-up conversation conducive.
Hey, guess what!? I have a migraine. Yeah, shocking, I know... starting to wonder if it's a reaction to one of the med shifts instead of a bad case of my usual crap. Feel like I'm being a pest (yeah, I know, I know) but calling my doc, asking about an injectable or other hardcore 'make it stop!' fix. Ow. Loud trucks on 41st. Don't normally mind traffic noises, but can't cope with my own front yard right now.
Comment: Yes, exactly. I was literally struck dumb by a loud large truck rattling by over the potholes. No horns or sirens or anything, but I couldn't finish my sentence -- not because I couldn't hear, but because I could no longer assemble words under that "assault". I get panicky when that happens, too. Start immediately trying to escape the inputs.
Well, going in better directions. Called doc about migraine. She's out, doc oncall will likely be unwilling to prescribe something new given my med load, which is understandable, but at least I was Responsible Girl and checked. Also calling for appt with Headache Clinic. Was hoping to wait for other med stuff to sort out first but this is ridiculous. And arranged loan from 403b to cover med expenses and missed work for rest of year. Huge load off my mind, since I've already blown through 1500 in Payflex and am now out of pocket for all uncovered costs. Also means I can afford to reschedule the massage through the clinic that I canceled for copay reasons. Whew. *calls appointment center*
Comments: Jamie Have you ever tried Topamax for the migraines? I know that the "super model" side effects can be annoying but maybe they will be minimal at the dosages the give for migraines, which is usually much lower than I take for the siezures.
Sarah Young I'm not sure if they could add that on top of the Trileptal, which is the same class (and also sometimes used for migraines -- frustrating thing is that I'm already on half the meds that should be preventative)
Kathryn You can check out needymeds.org to see if there are any assistance programs available for your meds. Some manufacturers will help folks with insurance, some won't. Sometimes they may offer a copay discount card.
Sarah Young Thanks! I suspect my income is too high, unfortunately. And usually it's relatively in hand financially, it's just been a rough and inconvenient year.
Sarah Young It shouldn't be as bad for the next med order, I'm pretty sure. I got whalloped with a $200-some copay on the last order because the initial copay on 3 months of celebrex was 187. Ouch. Was not expecting that. That should go down some -- apparently there's a deductible on each different med of $100, and it shouldn't be quite as high from here on out (although for brand-name pricey meds, it's generally $50/mo, so $150 for a three-month supply is where it tops out).
Kate Huh. I was going to mention Topamax also, which I take for migraines @ 150. Works for me but the brain cooties are obnoxious. But not as obnoxious as migraines.
Kate 150mg not dollars. :)
Sarah Young *chuckle* I'm definitely planning to talk through my current meds and alternate possibilities with the headache clinic. soonest available wasn't til oct 30th, of course. massage is next Wednesday though!
*sigh* called off, but it also got me wondering about my ada accommodation request so I checked in on that. Paperwork stall, think I got it moving again.
Comments: If HR deems it a reasonable accommodation for my disability given my job function (the short version of the legal ada requirements) they will approve certain job accommodations. My boss has my back on this, which helps immensely in navigating the process. More in next comment...
I've requested to offset some of my fmla missed time by working from home, provided there is a business need I can fill in doing so.
Email work and such instead of phone-based, if and only if we have enough of that sort to justify paying me for the time. I think it's a very reasonable request and benefits both me and the office. So does Boss. Just waiting for final approval from disability office after review of my med records and such. Me being hourly instead of salary apparently makes it trickier to get work from home approved.
Today's a good example. I could do that, at home in my own controlled environment. I can't function in the office with the broken a/c the constant background noise etc.
*sigh* As expected, nothing more GP can do for the migraine.
She doesn't think injectable triptans will help if the oral aren't after this many days of trying them, and I'm already taking all the other meds she'd suggest trying.
So next step, if I decide to do it, is the ED again, for IV meds for it.
Not willing to do that yet. Basically, I verified I'm doing the best I can, so I feel better about that, at least.
Comments: James Have you thought about/tried acupuncture?
Sarah Young I've followed the research on it for a long time. doesn't look like traditional form does more than placebo needles in random locations - it's likely the human caretaking interaction and the mild pain that's triggering the happy chemicals and efficacy. i suspect that's exactly why flogging works as pt for me, so think I've got that general approach covered, but free of charge.
James Interesting, I used to share similar thoughts re placebo effect until Jordan was afflicted with vertigo for 2 years. Acupuncture was the only thing that was effective in abating the vertigo. I've heard from other family members that it also works wonders for migraines. Just a thought if western medicine is running dry on options.
Sarah Young *nod* thanks; I appreciate it!
Jennifer Are you sure you are going to be up for RenFest madness?
Sarah Young it's going to be a rough day in a number of ways, but Renfest is outdoors which makes a lot of difference for me. I've done Pride like this, and basically hang at the edges
Sarah Young and terrie just offered to put us up for the night, which will help muchly!
Kate my experience (chronic migraneur) is that GPs dont have the expertise to properly treat CMs. I Saw a neurologist (then dean od U of Chicago) who worked out the first system that was successful for me. all the GPs just threw RX's at me.
Jeanette gotta second the neurology route - GP just kept bouncing me around - now I'm on meds that work to keep them away - not just treat them....but maude I hope you find relief soon. I truly understand.
Sarah Young yup; scheduled at the Headache Clinic at ccf, so as specialist as it gets. not til oct 30th though
RecoveredChildhoodMemory: socialist monopoly. I wasn't very interested in the fake money, and wanted to redistribute it so we could all keep playing whenever I was winning. As I recall, one of my favorite kids tried this too, years later. Caleb, however had provided actual evidence of his hippy childhood: Class Struggle: the boardgame. No really. Look it up.
There is disrespect of Pippilotta Delicatessa Mackrelmint Windowshade Ephraim's Daughter Longstocking happening _in my home_. Oh, hells no! "Like Heidi" my ass. This will not stand. (Have I mentioned our place and our household mailing list/group are Villa Villekula?)
Comment: Seriously! Heidi succeeds by being a "good girl". Pippi is anything but; she's a finger in the direction of authority everywhere, and she makes the world better by creating chaos and upheaval.
Goofus: Uses porn as an instruction manual.
Gallant: Uses porn as a discussion-starter.
(Love Queer Porn TV - not sure I can cancel link preview from phone, so you'll have to google)
Context since I seem to be only one who remembers them: http://www.cracked.com/funny-5498-goofus-gallant/
Now I have ALL THE FRUITS! (West Side Market prep for tomorrow's roadtrip)
At work, working the work. That's going ok and quiet, so I'm also catching up on my inbox. I normally keep it at single screen, ideally 20-30 items that I need to keep in mind, so things don't get lost.
It'd gotten to 421 items. It's been several hours just getting through enough that I'm down to about 120 now, but I already feel a bit better and less likely to forget important things, so yay. If you receive ridiculously belated comment replies and emails from me today, this is why, although I haven't even gotten very far in that yet.
Party at the house tonight, Caleb's B-day, Grafton's going-away party. I'll probably be at Giant Eagle shopping for tomorrow's trip instead. We leave, hopefully, at about 7am tomorrow.
Small children think sleep is for the weak. Unfortunately _we_ are the weak. Late night with Kidlet, late and extra-sleepy start on the road. Good thing I built an extra few hours in. We'll only be about an hour behind.
Michigan welcome center on 23. Time for pee and driver swap! Kidlet just waking up so Chad and I got some excellent grownup conversation time.
Michigan on Saturday was truly wonderful in all ways even if we were perpetually late on all our plans. Learning how to control my environment for the still ongoing migraine and have good experiences anyway. Pleased about this. Just wish they'd move their asses on the ADA accommodation request at work so I could stop missing so damned many hours though. Dreading loud office environment I can't control and a busy Monday today. I've got til 2pm to try to beat the brainbreak back into submission, so time to work on that. More meds, some healthy food, a hot shower and more sleep is the plan for my morning. More complete update on michigan (and some pics once Chad posts them) coming later. I think I'm planning to make this an annual Renfest trip with Kidlet, and annual chance to see Michigan friends. Also, chad and I decided on the drive back that we really and seriously want a boat (his family had one when he was a kid, and we live on Lake Erie, ffs) we're going to do some research and start planning a little savings fund. Also, his Dad was coast guard! Did not know this. Hello, information resource!
Medded, fedded (mmmm, avocado! It is too a hand fruit!), and showered. Decent start to the day, all 'round.
Fyi, phone is totally possessed, freezes and reboots randomly, intermittently fails to charge, generally a huge pain in my ass. If you can't reach me by phone or text, retry by email or fb, which I can see from other devices if this one kicks the bucket before I can replace it.
Comment: *grin* Yup, that's how I pulled everything off last Friday. This was just last minute backup of stuff from the weekend. And growing frustration with a phone that's spontaneously rebooting (looks like the battery is overheating, possibly) while I'm trying to make multiple phone calls about all the disability crap. *headdesk*
Also just catching a comedian on comedy central, Myq Kaplan. Funny!
Great explanation of everything we don't know! Exactly why I'm fascinated as a scifi geek. Need to write about how this connects to my love of octopuses. Definitely should be a moominrec.
target="_blank">Tedtalks into the abyss: robert ballard on exploring the oceans
Migraine motivated: called Division of Streets about condition of our street. Someone due out to look before September 18th. (We're a one-way between i-90 and Lorain. Lots of traffic and road beaten to shit even with frequent patching. I know to cope with emergency sirens and general traffic noise; I moved here. Big trucks slamming over rough surface is killing me though)
Just talked to hr again, trying to navigate this whole fmla, ada, short term disability, don't even know mess. Feel so helpless when I can't manage to get a straight answer on anything. Call back tomorrow, talk to your doc about that, no don't bother requesting a callback from your case manager, she's too busy. Going to go cry for a while and then probably call off work a-fucking-gain. Also, person I talked to denied all existence of any ada request in my file for first 3/4 of call. *bitter*
Called boss, called off for today and likely tomorrow. Let him know I may roll this into short term disability (these will be unpaid days, even with fmla, since I'm out of PTO, and first five days of short term are also unpaid so it may be best way to go when I'll already be at three in a row, rather than having to start the count over). Called ED to try to find out about IV treatment my doc suggested as last ditch effort. Will pursue that tonight or tomorrow am, I think. Need to call GP about short term disability request in case I need it. Wish I knew anything yet about timing on that intensive PT program I'm trying to get into. Afraid it could happen too late to fall within short term disability if I have to start it now. Hate all this not knowing.
Comment: Yeah, it pretty much blows. And it was HR leaning on me that led to this whole year of mess, anyway. Fuckers.
Newly created phrase in desperate need of a Urban Dictionary-style definition: Surfing the Hedgehog. (going the Ron Jeremy route is just too easy, and therefore banned)
Also, hate Facebook's interface even more when I'm migrainey. Too much happening all over the damned screen, can't cope. My eyes flicker all over trying to follow it, even when I'm trying to focus just on one thing, makes me close to seasick
Comment: It's also part of why I write so much and read so little when I'm a mess; I can focus on a single screen and getting my words out, it's much harder for me to process following multiple other people, especially in this kind of environment.
(although I'm also just hugely self-centered when I'm manic, and I still am, although the meds are finally starting to help there)
I hate trying to figure out how the hell to answer "which of your illnesses is this related to?" -- dammit, in my life they aren't separate. Mania=insomnia=fibro flare=migraines. How am I supposed to tease that all apart? Maybe my fibro meds are making the migraines worse. Maybe the psych meds are. Maybe they're making them better than they'd otherwise be. I don't fucking know, and these aren't discrete factors. (frustrating conversation with the nurse at my doctor's office; I hate having to explain over, and over, and over again what's going on. Yes, i already tried that. Yup, that too. Yeah, on a waiting list for that. Tried that, made everything worse. Can't try that, contraindicated. Have an appt to try the other thing. Are we done yet?)
Comments:
Kit Oh good grief. Also, fibro and insomnia go hand-in-hand.
Sarah Young Exactly. Everything in my life is "comorbid" -- disorders that are likely related in some way because they show up statistically more frequently together than would otherwise be expected.
Kit Yeah :/ I wonder whether it would be useful to describe fibro as the core condition and relate everything else to it (or similar idea)?
Sarah Young That's generally how I do it for my FMLA, but HR gets persnickety about it randomly. And almost always how I do it with medical staff, although this summer, with mania and migraine being my two biggest problems, it's more confusing if I do it that way, for once.
Sarah Young TOO MANY COMMAS.
Kit Bah. And, of course, these sorts of symptoms are exactly the kind to make filling in forms more difficult in the first place.
Sarah Young Or calling about stuff. HATE HOLD MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kit Or worse, trying to leave messages on answerphones.
Sarah Young Oh, for extra confuse-the-staff: the random major eczema explosion I'm trying to deal with (prescription hydrocortizone is now mostly controlling it, but only if I slather myself twice a day; I tried tapering down, no good)
Kit Gah. I want a brain transplant, or something.
Sarah Young What's kind of funny, and makes me kind of proud of myself on days like this, is that my body can fuck with me so much and I can still love it and all its imperfections. I've pulled off some accomplishments here and there in my life, but this one is remarkably important to me, and has felt like Big Stuff since I managed it.
Kit This is very much a good thing. Sometimes you want a holiday from dealing with it, though :-)
Sarah Young *grin* totally! Oooh, that reminds me of a sex post I was going to make about migraines and sex... That sounds like a lovely distraction until I hear back from my doctor's office!
Kit Win!
Thomas I love it when people I love get to know one another. Frubble.
Sarah Young Awwww!
Shelby I totally get that. Every time something's going on, I'm like, is my pressure up? are my brain drugs not working? am i experiencing the one randomly normal reaction to something not illness related?
Sarah Young *nodnodnod* Exactly. Am I being too cautious? Am I being too careless? the questions go on and on.
Is windowshopping purple suede lacing and rubber bouncy balls. /pervertables
Whew. OK, I think that's everything.
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::applause::
Date: 2012-08-22 05:00 pm (UTC)Z. (I just did bb Mountain cuz it was the only mountain icon we had)
Re: ::applause::
Date: 2012-08-22 05:14 pm (UTC)Loving you
Date: 2012-08-22 06:40 pm (UTC)G
Re: Loving you
Date: 2012-08-22 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-04 10:23 am (UTC)