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Oh, this is going to be fun...
Sep. 5th, 2007 11:58 amOn one hand, I'm very glad that things are coming together so well in terms of plans for Gramps. The house has sold, plans have been made, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jajy1979 and tasharowan are going to be able to help out with preparing the house in AL... All for the good.
But, damn. Why couldn't I have gotten the heavy lifting in AL, instead of the five days in CA with Gramps? I just talked to my Mom. Oh, this is going to be fun. Nothing major that needs doing, no internet (except my cell phone interface), no pets, no DVD or VHS player, TV barely functions, Gramps is tight about electricity, so if I want to read I'd better bring a reading light with me, and no A/C in LA in the summer. Also, no functioning kitchen. *shudder* At least I'll have Mom's company, and some board games.
And that's really not the worst of it, because I will manage to find a way to read. Five days, no other distraction? I'll probably pack one bag that's nothing but books. No, the tricky part is dealing with Gramps. My conversations with Gramps since I was a teen have really stuck to about the "already awkward at 10 minutes" level. He's a good man, I respect a lot about who he is, but we have absolutely nothing in common, and he's found me utterly baffling since I was little. I'm simply not, in any way, shape, or form, his mental map of "female". Grannie was a very passive woman, who needed a lot of caretaking. Gramps was great at that. I'm about as different from Grannie as can be, and that's before we start getting into the tricky stuff. So, the tricky stuff. I asked Mom what Gramps knows about me -- I know most of the family knows most of the stuff about me (bi, poly, tattooed, etc). I've never felt a real need to bring it up with Gramps; I haven't seen him in years, and we talk for maybe 10 minutes a few times a year on the holidays. Doesn't seem worth the hassles for both of us. However, in five days, the odds that some kind of awkward question isn't going to be asked (especially since I'm 32 and unmarried) are very slim.
I'm going to see if I can survive in t-shirts instead of tank tops, and hope his vision is bad enough he doesn't notice all the tattoo bits peeking out. Mom says she's pretty sure he doesn't know much of anything, unlike the rest of the family (Grandma was incredibly supportive, Grandpa and Peggy don't seem to care, although I'm not close with them anyway, my Aunt seems pretty cool about everything, and my Godfather _rocks_). So that means questions about relationships are likely, and are likely to come up against my gut distaste for lying. I'm trying to decide if I'm willing to make an exception in this case or not. I think I might, because I'm really not sure what on earth it would accomplish -- I couldn't even get close to the actual truth without having gone so far beyond anything he's going to be able to process as to totally shut things down, and I don't think the end result of even partial disclosure would help to bring us closer together, or help him to understand me better.
jajy1979, you've spent a lot more time around him than I have -- do you have any sense of where he generally stands in GLBT stuff, what he already knows about me, or anything else I should know/be prepared for?
jajy1979 and tasharowan are going to be able to help out with preparing the house in AL... All for the good.But, damn. Why couldn't I have gotten the heavy lifting in AL, instead of the five days in CA with Gramps? I just talked to my Mom. Oh, this is going to be fun. Nothing major that needs doing, no internet (except my cell phone interface), no pets, no DVD or VHS player, TV barely functions, Gramps is tight about electricity, so if I want to read I'd better bring a reading light with me, and no A/C in LA in the summer. Also, no functioning kitchen. *shudder* At least I'll have Mom's company, and some board games.
And that's really not the worst of it, because I will manage to find a way to read. Five days, no other distraction? I'll probably pack one bag that's nothing but books. No, the tricky part is dealing with Gramps. My conversations with Gramps since I was a teen have really stuck to about the "already awkward at 10 minutes" level. He's a good man, I respect a lot about who he is, but we have absolutely nothing in common, and he's found me utterly baffling since I was little. I'm simply not, in any way, shape, or form, his mental map of "female". Grannie was a very passive woman, who needed a lot of caretaking. Gramps was great at that. I'm about as different from Grannie as can be, and that's before we start getting into the tricky stuff. So, the tricky stuff. I asked Mom what Gramps knows about me -- I know most of the family knows most of the stuff about me (bi, poly, tattooed, etc). I've never felt a real need to bring it up with Gramps; I haven't seen him in years, and we talk for maybe 10 minutes a few times a year on the holidays. Doesn't seem worth the hassles for both of us. However, in five days, the odds that some kind of awkward question isn't going to be asked (especially since I'm 32 and unmarried) are very slim.
I'm going to see if I can survive in t-shirts instead of tank tops, and hope his vision is bad enough he doesn't notice all the tattoo bits peeking out. Mom says she's pretty sure he doesn't know much of anything, unlike the rest of the family (Grandma was incredibly supportive, Grandpa and Peggy don't seem to care, although I'm not close with them anyway, my Aunt seems pretty cool about everything, and my Godfather _rocks_). So that means questions about relationships are likely, and are likely to come up against my gut distaste for lying. I'm trying to decide if I'm willing to make an exception in this case or not. I think I might, because I'm really not sure what on earth it would accomplish -- I couldn't even get close to the actual truth without having gone so far beyond anything he's going to be able to process as to totally shut things down, and I don't think the end result of even partial disclosure would help to bring us closer together, or help him to understand me better.
jajy1979, you've spent a lot more time around him than I have -- do you have any sense of where he generally stands in GLBT stuff, what he already knows about me, or anything else I should know/be prepared for?
