moominmuppet

I finished all my replies to the first meme I posted. I promise I'll finish my replies to the second one Real Soon Now. But first, questions from jenx:

1. What physical locations resonate most for you?

The woods around Kenyon, most strongly. "My woods" behind my childhood home in Holly, MI, although that's finally starting to fade. Standing waist-deep in Lake Huron in the middle of the night looking at the stars. In general, I'm deeply, deeply attached to northern woods, and lots of fresh water, and rich, moist soil.

2. What is your definition of 'queer' as it applies to you?

I use it in two different ways. In general conversation, I'm generally using it as shorthand for GLBTQQIA, etc. In terms of my personal identity, I like the word because of its potential for radical inclusivity, though. In terms of identity, I take a very, very broad view of the term. Everyone's "queer" in some way -- outside the norms in some way. What we have in common is that we're all different. In terms of sex/gender/relationship styles/kinks/etc, I think that anyone who recognizes that about themselves, and believes in the right to be so, has a right to claim the word. In the long run, I'm much more attached to "idea politics" than "identity politics" -- I dislike identity-gatekeeping, and "queer" wiggles around it in ways that other identifications often don't manage to. It also makes it easier to ally with people politically based on common values and goals, not common behaviors. As for what it means in terms of community, it's my way of saying "these are all my people, and I won't sacrifice their rights for my own."

3. Time, money, and education are not a factor - what is your dream job?

Sexuality education. I've played around with quite a number of various ways of implementing that -- one idea that appeals is doing lectures for medical/nursing professionals on sexual and gender variation; giving a basic overview of what they may encounter, ways in which it's medically relevant, and particular issues that may arise in those regards. Also, some cluebatting regarding how not to alienate their patients. I don't think that's all I'd want to be doing, though. I've historically gotten a lot out of doing educational presentations for people within our communities, and particularly trying to wear down some of the barriers between all our little identity subsets. (educating kinky folks about bi issues, educating bi folks about trans issues, educating GLBT folks about poly issues, etc, etc). Career-heros for me: Carol Queen, Tristan Taormino, Patrick Califia, Susie Bright, Lani Ka'ahumanu, etc. Right now I'm hoping that heading toward a career as a NP in a women's health clinic will allow me to be a resource and educator during my dayjob, when it's relevant, and also have some creds that will help me continue to do educational work in my off-time.

4. You can either be blind or deaf. Which would you prefer, and why?

Deaf, absolutely. I could still feel many sounds tactilely (and that's how I most react to music anyway; hence my fondness for thumpy drums and such), but I couldn't feel a sunset. Also, the frustration of getting books on tape or in braille would drive me nuts, as would the extent to which that'd slow down how quickly I can consume them. And besides, I think ASL is beautiful, and having to learn it wouldn't suck.

5. 6 people you would most like to have at a dinner party.

Well, heck, I'm going to pull this straight from my previous answer:
Carol Queen, Tristan Taormino, Patrick Califia, Susie Bright, Lani Ka'ahumanu... and how about Nina Hartley? I think the conversations about sexuality and politics could get really detailed and fascinating with that crowd.

Yay, it's finally Friday! *bounce* *looking forward to this weekend*

1) Of the various cultures, ethnicities or nationalities you belong to, which most strongly do you consider yourself?

Queer. Racially and ethnically I'm so much a part of the dominant culture (white, no recent immigrants in the family) that I'm almost unaware of identity in that regard (can we say "signs of privilege" boys and girls?). I have some vague notions of where my family immigrated from, but no real cultural connection. All the family stories in the past several generations happened within the US. The places where I've had to become aware of my identity are largely around sexual/relationship divergence -- the places where I'm not part of the dominant culture. "Queer" for me, is a good general term for the overlaps of being non-straight, non-monogamous, and non-gender compliant. And it's those overlapping communities that I generally find the feeling of being comprehended on the levels that I need to feel at home, and able to exist without feeling the need to explain how I exist all the time.

2) Is there a culture you cannot claim heritage from but which you feel quite close to?
Do gay leathermen count?

3) What's one language you wish you knew fluently?
On a practical level, french, since it counts for points on the Canadian immigration standards.
Alternately, ASL. I've been fascinated with it since I was 10 or 12, but never gotten beyond very basic stuff.

4) If you could move anywhere in the world and be guaranteed a job, etc., where would you go?
I've been particularly curious about Finland and Iceland, although I really can't say I know enough about how well I'd like the cultures to say that I'd definitely want to move.

5) If you had a time machine, and could witness any one event without altering or disturbing it, what would you want to see?
Wow. That's really hard to say. Most of the 'events' that I find most fascinating from a scientific point of view would take too long to observe. I think I'd be very tempted to spend a day in the cretaceous period. Or maybe in the paleolithic. It's less that I want to see specific events than that I want to have a first-hand sense of what X time period was like, in general.

someone else and I were discussing pet names. like sweetheart, hon, love.. wondered if there were any you despised, or if maybe there were some okay from some people, but not from others.

Huh. That's an excellent question, actually, because it's one of those things where "what I think bothers me" and "what actually bothers me" turn out to be radically different, sometimes a bit to my own embarrassment.

I think it would totally weird me out if anyone called me Liebchen -- that was Mike's nickname for me, and is indelibly associated with him in my mind.

I'd laugh my ass off if anyone called me "my little vanilla pudding pop", which was J's way of seeing just how ridiculously obnoxious she could be with super-sappy nicknames just to tweak me.

I would say in general that it's a bad idea to call me "baby", although I have to admit it's been done without managing to irritate me every so often (but generally by people who use it as a generic nickname for everyone around them). A stranger once addressed me a "baby-girl", and my brain just about broke.

Sweetheart, Love, Hon -- none that I would necessarily choose for myself, but ones that I associate with the people who use them (several of my best friends and exes), so I hear them affectionately.

Really, that's a major factor -- if it's someone I care about and feel close to, what comes naturally to them generally won't bother me unless it's ungodly saccharine sweet.

In terms of what bothers me from whom -- If it's people who can legitimately claim intimacy with me, there isn't much that'll bother (see below for exceptions). With people in positions of power over me, I don't want to hear any of them. With strangers on the street, I've found the racial and social stratifications have a lot to do with how I react. For example, older black men and most black women can get away with casual endearments that annoy me from younger black men and from white men. I don't know exactly why that is. I think there's a lot of cultural stuff involved in what I react to with strangers -- I'll ponder on the way home, and maybe write more later.

Beyond the Pale:
Please don't call me snookums. Or snookum-wookums. In fact, avoiding anything that rhymes is a very good idea. Also, babytalk irritates the hell out of me.

More memes. Sleepy, watching the clock crawl. Is it 3:15 yet?

1. What do you wear to bed?
Totally depends. Sometimes whatever I had on that day (minus the bra), sometimes nothing, sometimes whatever assortment of articles I put on once I got home. I choose almost all my clothing for comfort, so very little of it is hard to sleep in. And I sleep in very odd patterns, so "nap" vs "bedtime" is a weird and fuzzy line.

2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I have a king-size bed. I sleep on a couch in the living room, unless I'm sleeping with someone. Yeah, go figure. I've always gravitated toward couches, and that's much more dramatic when there's a TV in the living room, and not one in my bedroom (I sleep better to random background chatter). I keep meaning to retrain myself to sleep in my own room more often. Maybe moving one of the extra TVs in there (and figuring out how to run cable to that room in any reasonable way) will help -- that's the current plan.

3. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?
Varies. Usually on my stomach, or half on my stomach, half on my side. I generally only sleep on my back when my head is bothering me.

4. Describe the bedding on your bed right now. How does it change with the seasons? Are you particular about your pillows or linens?
On my actual bed, deep red fitted sheet, and a few random blankets (and a big pile of clean clothes, and a shoebox, and a random TV -- at least I took the chair off it the other week). On the couch where I actually sleep, the wonderful afghan my mother knitted for me, and two pillows; one for my head, one for my feet. Also, although I sleep over it, not under it, the Sirius Black blanket that bec76 got for me.

I'm picky in weird ways. I can't sleep in a bed under a sheet that's tucked in at the end (in hotels, the first thing I do is untuck the bed). I'm deeply attached to Mom's afghan, and sleep with that, and only that, all winter. Once it warms up, I switch to lighter knitted blankets. I almost never use sheets. I'm pretty much fine with anything that covers me enough to keep me warm, though. I used to be known for being able to sleep anywhere, under any circumstances. That's somewhat less true now, since I stiffen up more easily, but even given that, I sleep through much more than most people can.

5. Do you hog the bed, steal covers, or snore?
A bit of all, I think. I know I snore in some positions, I don't really know how much or how loudly. I get stiff and have to move around a decent amount in the night, so I need my space, in order not to drive my sleep-mate insane. Along those lines, I prefer us each to have our own primary blanket, although overlaps to allow for skin contact are all to the good.

The question meme I posted netted one response, which isn't exactly enough to keep me busy. However, I just found The Daily Meme. Uh-oh.

Well, at least it'll keep me busy. As usual, with these sorts of pre-existing meme questions, I'm picking ones to answer that I find marginally interesting.

At what point in your life did you first experience total trust in someone or something?

I think one of the major factors in my development is that I can't remember a time I didn't have that, growing up. Not so much that people were perfect (although I did idolize my Dad), but that I was surrounded by people I could trust to have my well-being at heart. There were bad things that happened in my childhood, but overall, I grew up feeling very safe, and very thoroughly loved and cared for, both by my parents and the parish. More than anything else, that's colored how I want to interact with the world, my sometimes unrealistic expectations of it, and my attempts to create that feeling for other people (which hasn't always gone well). It definitely feeds into my tendency toward communal forms of interaction and living.

I'm soooooo sleepy, and I've still got another three hours to wade through. So, here's an attempt to give me something to focus on:

From several sources:

Ask me a question about each (or any) of the following:
1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Drugs
5. Love
6. LiveJournal

...no matter how rude, sexual, or confidential.... just ask it! (comments are screened, and will be answered in another post)