*stress*

The thing I notice most about being really exhausted is how much more I stress that I'm forgetting important things, losing track of something amorphous. In general, I just get anxious much more easily because my brain feels so overloaded and untrustworthy. Right now I'm having trouble dealing with more than the most cursory IMing -- it's Friday, so work's not quite so bad as earlier in the week (although we've got an extra person out), but the accumulated exhaustion is more than making up for the dip in workload, and I'm getting overwhelmed and losing track of my trains of thought frighteningly easily.

Mom and Dad just called; they're on their way down to General Convention now. It was wonderful to see them, I just wish it hadn't happened to fall in the middle of work hell, when I couldn't take time off, and was coming home every day already worn out.

Today I'm stressing about finances, and remembering to pay all the bills, and what's still out there that hasn't processed through the account yet, and which bus tickets I need to buy when to where, and when my PT appt and counseling appt next week are, and remembering to write back to emails, etc, etc, etc. And I really do think that almost all of it is already on my "To Do" list, but that's not reassuring me; some part of my brain is absolutely positive that I'm forgetting something important, and I'm going to screw something up.

Tonight I'm supposed to get together with my coworker/friend who's out for surgery, but after than I really need to try to catch up on sleep better -- I'm supposed to be volunteering at Pride tomorrow at 9am (what the hell was I thinking??), and I'm going to be there pretty much all day, since lunatickle's band doesn't play 'til 2:30pm, and chameleonpixie will be meeting me there after she gets off work. I really suspect I won't be going to the Burlesque show on Sunday, though. I need some recuperation time. I'm much too frayed and frazzled.

I wouldn't suggest bothering to talk to me much today; I'm likely to be grumpy and irritable and less than ideal company.

A few random notes...

First of all, I did fit in time last night to finish A Deepness in the Sky, which I enjoyed greatly. I need to remember to check my shelves and see if I have any of his other books.

Also, I've finally started on The Last Summer of Reason. It's a very short book; I started it on the ride in this morning, and will likely have it finished by the time I get home. I have to admit I've been putting it off, waiting to be "in the mood" to read something I knew would be upsetting. Thankfully, the library finally goaded me into it; I've had it checked out so long it's been listed missing, and until I return it, no more library books for me. Oops! And while I can't say it's precisely enjoyable, I'm glad to be reading it.

And some links:

Study finds correlation between migraines and sex drive -- I suspect this'll make several people on my friends list chuckle appreciatively. And I am interested to see what further research finds in that correlation.

The new "reproductive health" program, announced last month by the Centers for Disease Control, seems well-intended. But by treating women chiefly as vessels for the next generation, it sadly misses the mark. -- a nice little opinion piece about the "preconception care program" that a number of us were ranting about a few weeks ago. (and The Kaiser Daily Health Report link that lead me to it, and includes links to the referenced documents) Actually, I'd been thinking about that the other day at Cedar Point; by their arguments, as a woman of reproductive age I probably shouldn't be doing something as "irresponsible" as riding rollercoasters, either.

Also, an interesting, although depressing, article on the critical problems in ER care

We've finally hit a Friday afternoon quiet spell, thankfully, and I'm starting to feel a bit less frazzled. I hate how exhaustion plus stress makes me feel like a little kid on the edge of a crying jag.

Oh, chameleonpixie -- remind me to charge the new batteries tonight, and bring the camera to Pride tomorrow.

FYI for zeldajean and <user site="livejournal.com" user="nezmas

Looks like I'm not going to be coming down to Columbus for Origins this year, although I may make it to GenCon later in the summer.

I'm a bit sad, and I'm sorry to miss both of you, but the next few weeks are feeling so overwhelming, travelwise, that I'm also relieved at the idea of a calm weekend at home.